e Wheel of Life

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Topic: Another Ordinary Day

What more can I say? Another insignificant, life-wasting, nothing-better-to-do day. Now I know why people want to climb mountains and follow every streams. They want to live every moment. At least when you work, you earn money. You earn for your rewards. BUT, without today, I believe nothing will change in much life. I am not saying I am going to climb mountains or do any life-risking activities, but it's just that today will not be a day that will be registered in my memory for long. Not even until tomorrow. This is a sign of lost of direction and aim in life. It's a catastrophe in my life. At least, while in school, there is an aim to get good grades. (Ok, I admit. I am a nerd.) While in band, there is a drive to make music and be merry. Now, I have lost the drive.

Ok. Not all hopes are lost. At least, I have an aim. To be slimmer. So after this entry of my journal, and after Holland Village, I will join the rest in a game of badminton or table tennis. Wish me luck in my slimming programme.

Another day has past
This memory won't last
Time flies, swift and fast
Sun sets, shadows cast

The world will move on and I must live on, always, for a better tomorrow.

I pray.

Monday, September 29, 2003

Title: A little sense of achievement

Finally, I picked up my lazy legs and ran this evening. It's a good start for my slimming plan. I must run tomorrow again. I must not give up. After seeing so many of my friends getting slimmer and fitter and more good looking and more photogenic, I must not lose them. Haha. Shannon, that includes you. This run makes me feel a little sense of achievement.

Ok, after the himbotic side of me, I would like to share an interesting book. It's the book from which the chinese movie 'Turn Left, Turn right' originated from. The book has a more sophiscated and nicer name: 'A Chance of Sunshine'. Cheem right?

How should I describe this book? After reading, you will realise that pictures do speak more than words. In fact more than that. No amount of words can describe the pictures in this books. There are very few words in this book. But the beauty is that simplicity brings out the hidden meaning and beauty of the story or what the writer is trying to tell. Same goes to the pictures. There are no Picasso drawings, but such simplicity brings out so much.

Here is the website of the author, Jimmy and his works:
http://www.jimmyspa.com

The following extract is what Jimmy writes in the opening of his book.

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainity is beautiful
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

by: Wislawa Szymborska from the 1st verse of 'Love at First Sight'

Enjoy.

With love, we will survive.

Title: Another Busy Day

Finally, COC (Change of Command) Parade is over, and all the sai gang is over. Well, not yet actually. We still have to take off the decorations the next day. Too tired to write anything else. Maybe later in the night I will continue.

The world is beautiful because of me and you.

Tata.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Title: Disappoinment

I realised that I have not added a topic for each entry of my journals so I am going to add in this entry.

Just checked my mail. Normal long list of unseen mails. Out of all the mails, 1 mail caught my sight the very moment. The reply to my application of NUS/ASEAN Undergraduate Scholarship. As from the topic, one would have guessed that I did not get the scholarship. Exactly! But this feeling of disappointment is not as severe when I get the 'no' reply from my 1st application. However, I still feel as upset.

So many unhappy things have happened. I feel a little sick today. No one knows. Who cares about me? Friends come and go. All the rest are busy. Can't really blame them as they have better and more important things to do. Campmates... Don't feel like taking about them.

I feel so lost now, not knowing what to do. There are no great achievements for the past year or two. Applications to scholarships failed. Getting fatter day by day. Friends come and go. Temper as that of a pregnant mother, or even worse than that.

It must be the flu that I am feeling what I feel.

Ok. I must look at the brighter side of life. Not all are bad after all.

A misty path I take
One into two it breaks
The junction I wished I never come
Can't avoid, can't run
A choice I have to make
For the better of my fate
Once chosen, cannot undone
Think twice, it's not for fun
Walk with stealth, firm and straight
Problems come, not to be afraid
You will see, the scorching sun
When you see no mist, you are done
Walk somemore, you will enjoy your fate
Not far, not near, another junction ahead

Saturday, September 27, 2003

It's a boring Saturday as usual. Stay at home, doing unsignificant things that wouldn't change my life a bit.

Many things have happened in the past few days. My silliness has caused the people around me to be upset with me. It was all meant to be a joke, well at least for me, but it doesn't to be the way for other people. I know I should apologize, but I did. It is not enough. Now, I really awkward when we meet. I am really sorry if he doesn't like the way I acted. This is what relationship is all about. It's like baking a cake. If too much egg or baking powder is added, the cake will not out to be tasty. But, after that mistake, I believe the baker will learn his mistake and will not repeat his mistake. Friendship is like a cake. However, it is so gigantic that it is not possible for only one baker to bake this cake. It needs a few. The bakers will 'trial and error' in putting the ingredients in the cake in the hope of making the best cake. Mistakes will be made but will be learnt too.

I am a baker who has put too much baking powder that the cake now is going to explode soon.

Do I have another chance to bake another cake, but this time I will add less baking powder?

I am still searching for an answer.

If friendship is a cake, let it be sweet and creamy.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

This is the first time I 'officially' write my feelings and thoughts in this webpage. Interestingly, there are quite a few thoughts I would like to pen down. Without wasting any moment, after a cool shower which I needed badly to clear the unwanted smell and awful feeling from the deployment, I swifted down to the common room and log into blogger, before every feeling ran away.

P/S: Pardon the bad language. This is supposed to be a way of improving my language... hopefully.

Normally, most people would enjoy looking back at their photo albums. Not me, or at least the me now. I could not imagine how much I have grown, horizontally. It could be quite depressing being a 'horizontal guy'. Maybe it's retribution. I shouldn't have teased Shannon when she keep complaining abut her fatness. Well, I didn't really mean it though. But now, when she really become slim, the joke came to me. I know sometimes people (I don't want to mention names) say I am round and all about me being fat (though it's true), they don't really mean much. But sometimes, such words are real sharp, they hurt, deeply. I know I must take it with a pinch of salt or even laugh with it, and at the same time take note of my 'size'.

I am a typical Aries, temperemental. I know sometimes my friends would find it funny why I suddenly turned quite quiet. Tada, here's the answer. Aries is my horoscope. I am not angry, some of the times, or what, but I suddenly feel that it's time for me to keep quiet and shut my mouth. It's time for me to ponder what wrongs I have done for the day. The reason I gave when asked of my uninvited silence, tired.

As in my previous entries in my other online diary, I always end journals with a dream to aim for, a remark, a chant or just a simple sentence of thoughts. This will be no otherwise.

God bless all those who loves.
I love.
Do you?

Good night.

p/s: I have no idea how to add the link for your comments at the moment. So pals, hold on to your thoughts till I search for the answer.

Monday, September 22, 2003

miss those time when i was slimmer!!!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2003

I did this test and I realised I had a red heart. What's yours?

p/s: phew! normal heart colour.

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

fine..i'm childish, so there *hummmph*

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Hello!
Bye!