It's the last day of 2007 and before the year comes to its final second, people would normally have some reflections and make new resolutions. I looked at my post at the beginning of the year and saw what resolutions I have made for 2007. I can safely say I have tried to fulfill some of the resolutions to a certain extent, that is to spend more time with people around me, and to spend less time doing unnecessary things, though I still waste quite a bit of time here and there.
This year has been rather packed for me in some ways. There's internship, first tuition assignment, new friends made, things that happened that made me realize the importance of family, gatherings with friends, etc. I think and hope I have grown in one way or the other through the things that have happened this year.
My posts recently have been of a long length, thus I would try to keep this short. As a whole, I would say 2007 has been a year of growing and learning. I have also learned if I really want something, I can achieve that aim to a certain extent. Some didn't turn as well as I expected to be, but still it can be achieved. Probably I should just want things harder, then probably I can achieve it.
2008 will be great and greater.
Went out with the horn gang again yesterday. The usual KTV session, where Gary brought his girlfriend along. Post KTV was dinner at my favorite Lan Zhou La Mian at Chinatown, where we ended the gathering after some phototaking at Central at Clarke Quay.
Maybe it's the lethargy and all that made me think even slightly more. I don't what has overcome me and I feel rather drained and energy deficient, that I really don't feel like doing anything at all.
I realized it takes a lot to maintain a friendship. Sometimes, it doesn't only apply to one person, but to the other people within this friendship circle. It can easily deteriorate and before you know it, you know longer keep in contact with them or be as close as before. Probably we now have too many friends and some even have their own love relationships to take care of.
It can be quite difficult to get friends out nowadays, to the extent that it can be really tiring. Attendance will never be as full as you want it to be. People are busy with work, home, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever reasons. I am not blaming anyone, but it's just a fact.
Maybe that's growing up.
I am thinking about love too. What is true love? Can you ever find that special one? Is relationship something no one is ever sure of? You meet one whom you think is the special one, you go out with her or him, and realize she or he isn't that special after all. Or is love something that can be cultivated and requires tolerance from both parties.
I really don't know.
I am going out later again. But I am feeling the laziness all over me.
I realized the things I have posted recently are what I have done in these few days and have not really written and emo-related stuff. Maybe its the holidays where I'm actually less stressed. However, I have also been doing some serious thinking, about the path I should take, about the things I should or should not do, about the person I am.
I think I am a coward when it comes to relationship issues. I never tried or dared to take a leap and to act as I suppose to, and in the end, I have lost many opportunities. Probably because I think too much before taking any actions at all, thinking about the consequences and sometimes even decide for the other party. Probably also because I am not good enough to be with anyone. Who wants to be with an ugly, character-less, boring, un-charismatic, non-intellectual person? Some say I lack self-confidence, but truth is truth.
Actually, I am quite comfortable in this situation now, doing the things I do, getting crazy, not being involved with anyone, doesn't matter if anyone cares what do. But will I get too comfortable and fear of changes?
I once told my friend that one of the reasons why I am afraid to be in a relationship is because I hate the breakup. I think I will also act differently when I am in one. I also tend to think if the person really suits me, or I really am the one she's looking for.
Jeremy, you are such a romance idiot.
So now, should I take a big leap and open my arms wide? I am not young anymore, my friends are getting married.
Now, emo-self aside. I went out again yesterday, to meet up with Siandy first. Went around Orchard to look at stuff and had dinner at Lemongrass Thai restaurant at The Heerens. We were quite amazed at the emptiness of the place, not only in the restaurant, but the place around as well. What amazed us as well was that the waiter served us our pineapple rice as well, as in he scooped the rice out from the pineapple (the rice was placed in the pineapple, thus pineapple rice) and served it on our plates. Siandy (or was it me?) commented that they could do that because there were really not a lot of people around, and thus were quite free. After dinner, we walked toward PS, where I supposed to meet my Union Camp -aka -Xenus -aka -Fervo -aka -Cap5 mates.
I didn't really feel like going out yesterday. Somehow I really felt quite lethargic. Even when Siandy asked me to meet her earlier, truthfully, I was really tired, even though I slept in the noon. I was so sian that I didn't even bring my camera out, which I normally did.
I didn't regret meeting her. I think my energy recovered slightly after that.
And then, I was supposed to meet my union camp peeps. I told Siandy I wanted to just meet them and go home. Being lost and can't find the place where I supposed to meet them, made me even want to just give up and go home. But I guessed I couldn't just break my promise, so I hanged on and found the place eventually.
The Mind Cafe at Prinsep Street was actually not a bad place for gathering. It's like Settlers' where we can have food and place boardgames. At first I though there were only 5 of us meeting, because I only see KC, Jiasheng, Guoyong and Zhi Shern, but later more of them came and there were eventually there were 10 of us, where Vivien, Fang, Elisa, Weiye, Yuwei joined us later.
The games sort of perked me up. I liked the last game most where we have to exchange the cards on our hands so that all the cards have the same color. And when anyone has the set of same color cards, he or she was supposed to silently grabbed the bones that were placed in the middle, and the last person who realised that the bones were gone, or didn't manage to grab the bone, he would be the loser. It was interesting that the location where you were will determine if you lose or not, because it's always the same people losing. I didn't believe it until I exchanged places with the unlucky position and I lost in the end. There was also a funny moment where there was actually 2 bones left on the table and 2 of the guys snatched the same bone leaving the other bone unsnatched.
After Mind Cafe, Elisa and beau left first. The rest of us proceeded to a bar nearby called the Roomful of Blues. It's actually a nice small chill out bar where there is nice live singing. The singer was good, and I loved his style of singing. And while we listened to the nice crooning, we played the usual beer games of guessing fists (direct translation from 猜拳) where the one on the left of the winner will have to drink from the big glass of beer. I realised I was quite good at the game actually, which made Fang drank quite a bit. Oops.
The other game we played had to do with dice and guess the number of dices with the number that you called. If you guess correctly and another person caught you, he had to drink. But he caught you and you guessed wrongly, you have to drink. I am REALLY bad at the game and I drank really a lot. I think as a whole, I drank around 2 big glasses that night, which I seldom did.
I didn't bring my camera so I took photos with my phone. Pardon for the quality.
At The Mind Cafe
An idea of how big the glass was.
Waiting for Yuwei to send me the photos, so that I can post them later.
Pictures from the lunch with Pris and Shannon.
Realized this is a really long post.
It's already the last weekend of the year. Wish everyone would have a great 2008.
I have a new blog, sharing my interests in design, photography and stuff. This current 'e Wheel of Life' will still remain and I will update my life happenings here. On the new blog, my attempts at photography and design will be posted.
It's interesting that even I am in my last year of undergraduate studies and have already checked my results for don't know how many times, I still get all anxious and nervous and excited while waiting for the release of my result. And when it's finally here, I was like really don't know how to react. All I can say is that it's still not good enough to put me in the next level of class. I really don't know what to expect next or what should I do. Sometimes, I wonder if I have put enough effort or not, and it seems that even I have put in effort more than others, I still don't get good grades. Maybe I am just ain't smart after all.
I am not depressed or what, but it's just that I feel injustice. I did try my best and study harder than before and pay attention to class, but results ain't the reflection of what it should be.
Whatever. On one hand, I'm just glad I got ok results that won't leave me in the worse level of class.
Anyway, I got another Rubik's cube after my visit to the dentist and finally got to solve it. What's next? Memorize the algorithm and try to solve it as soon as possible.
TM really changed quite a bit with newer and more shops around. Try to search for a suitable wallet but failed. Mostly because the prices were just slightly on the high side. Any kind sponsors for this poor student over here? Haaha.
Met up with Pris and Shannon for lunch today. It was so funny because it was really impromptu and rather unplanned. But since Pris was working from home, Shannon was not on shift, and I had to go to TM to change the Starhub set-up box as it failed on me again, we decided to meet up for lunch at TM.
So as usual, we chatted about life, Pris's Taipei trip with sharing of photos, Shannon's trip to Japan, again, in Jan, and about the gathering this Sunday. There's also some photos taken. Photos updates next time as the smart me brought the camera without the SD card, and so Shannon had to use hers, and I have to wait for her to send me.
New year's coming. New resolutions will be made. But have I achieved what I made for this year's? I don't know. Have you?
The eve of Christmas was spent with the usual primary school gang. This time, we went to the north-east district to Sengkang, to have our usual unusual dinner. Instead of turkey, ham and baked pies, dinner was with a tinge of South-east Asian taste as we headed to Sakura, a Halal Thai restaurant at Compasspoint. We had no other choices as other places were fully packed, and restaurants like Jack's Place only served Christmas special, which meant costly bills. Therefore we settle at Sakura, where the food was excitingly flavored with spices, sweet and sourness. Food like Tom Yam soup, Mee Goreng, Thai fried chicken, cereal prawns, sambal kang kong, mango salad and pineapple rice really made the whole Christmas dinner very, umm, different. Nevertheless, it felt our stomach and it's actually not bad, just a bit too much chilli padi.
Then we headed to Popular bookstore to get my Rubik's cube after Siandy's disintegrated to pieces, all thanks to my uncouth treatment to the toy. Being cheapskate, I got one for 2 bucks, and it appeared to be very old and not of any premium quality. Next was tidbits and drinks shopping at Cold Storage.
Finally, we set off to Hui's house by bus. Somehow something tickled us during the trip and we laughed non-stop throughout the journey, which happened to catch many people's attention. I think it was about Kim's teasing of Qiwen's unclear diction and it seemed she was speaking Korean.
We started the evening's fun with a PS2 game involving Taiko drum, something Elvin brought along. It was interesting and actually quite fun because it tested our rhythmic ability, and apparently, not many of us were good at it. Being in band before didn't actually help much and Elvin even used to be a drum major. See Teng and beau joined us at around 930pm, and we continued with the drumming game. We then proceeded mainly card games of bridge and daidee.
Midnight struck and it was Christmas. We popped the Wen's red wine bottle and had the Christmas log cake that See Teng bought for us. And more card games apparently after that, with moments of camera whoring here and there. While Wen and Teck were engrossed in trying to solve the Rubik's cube, the rest of us (me, Kim, Elvin, Hui. See Teng was not feeling well, so she left with Jack) played Indian Poker and if we lost, we had to have our hand graffiti-ed. Suddenly, fatigue hit us after realizing it's already 5am in the morning.
Morning breakfast was at Mac, after which we left for our home sweet home!
Although this wasn't actually the typical way to celebrate Christmas since none of us are Christians, most importantly, we had each other's company and we spread joy among the few of us!
To all, have a blessed Christmas!
PS: I damaged the Rubik's cube I just bought. Should just have gotten the 10 bucks one.
Seriously, I think I must update my blog often. If not, I will have difficulty to recap all the things that have happened recently, and also the feelings that I felt will just disappear.
Been trying to search for that Christmas mood, since I am not caroling with Reso this year, all thanks to my FYP. Ok, maybe that's an excuse, since I should able to plan my time properly and still find time to gig at least once. Anyway, the whole week was spent writing the report for my FYP, and at least the draft's up.
Friday was the start of the search for the Christmas mood, with gatherings with Siandy, Shannon, and Gary. Trying to do some shopping at Marina Square, and Shannon bought stuff at the Face Shop. Had desserts at this Jap restaurant. Dinner was at Waraku. Photos taken and as usual, laughs were always heard. After dinner activity was watching NUS Jazz Band gig at Esplanade waterfront, where we caught familiar faces. Dennis was playing in the band. The gals caught their secondary school friend, Chermaine, and I bump into Sue Ann who happened to be singing for that gig as well. I really hearted the moment the color coordinated peeps spent together, where we relived past memories and enjoyed the company of each other.
Saturday night was at Aunt Doris's place with the usual maternal relatives gathering. Food and more food filled our hungry stomachs' and after dinner desserts was as sweet as the three nieces of mine, who had all our smiles revealed on faces. Too bad I did not have my camera to capture these moments.
Yesterday, after sending the FYP draft report to my prof, I met up with Siandy for some Christmas shopping. Wanted to get wallet for myself, but in the end, I spent 90 plus to get 2 tops and 1 bottoms at what Siandy puts it, my 'fav' store, Celio. Quite liked them cos they are rather affordable and style wise is suitable. Went to catch Equivox caroling at Dhoby Ghaut Atrium. Loved the harmonies and they songs they delivered. We took a lot of photos as well, especially at Plaza Singapura where there were some Christmas shows going.
Yup, so that's about it. Tonight will be spent at Hui's house for more fun!
I wanted to update this yesterday, but after coming back from chalet, unpacking my stuff from chalet, and the immediate going back to my FYP report right after the packing and lunch.
Anyway, the chalet with the primary school friends was fun. It's been some time since the last trip to bangkok where most of us stayed and played together. Saturday was checking in day, and after unpacking our stuff, we had a quick game of twister when discoveries were made, like Qiwen is super good at the game as she is so flexible and has the ability to stable herself very well. Seeing that the sky is turning dark, we decided to have the bbq early, and since the bbq stuff (we ordered ready marinated and prepared bbq food) arrived rather early too, we started the fire at around 4.30 pm. Surprisingly, the fire was set up rather quickly, maybe due to the good charcoal. The food was not bad, well marinated and variety was taken care too. After some bbqing, random photo taking, chit chating, the whole bbq stint ended just before 8pm.
Well that night hadn't ended yet. After clearing up and cleaning ourselves up, we played random PS2, mahjong, bridge, dai dee, Heart-attack-cum-Do-not-be-the-last-one-to-follow-the-actions-of-the-winner game, and also Win Lose or Draw with questions set by Hui. Being very good in the Chinese Languagem the questions were based on Chinese phrases or rather 'cheng yu'. It was really fun trying to recap our secondary school chinese phrases. Well, some of us were actually quite good at our mother tongue. Some even came up with their style of drawing to represent certain words.
The most of day 2 was spent at Wild wild wet, where we had fun sliding through tunnels, getting ourselves wet with splashing water, riding man made waves, sliding down this tall slide on floats and getting foamed up in the foam pool.
The meal was settled at this zhi char restaurant in Downtown East. Food is not bad, but most importantly, it's cheap as we have discount coupons. After dinner activity was TV watching in the room, where we watched Star Awards on Channel 8. While watching, some of the played Twister. I think our group really had a thing about Twister. Suddenly after the TV show, most of us felt hungry, probably we had really early dinner, therefore we went to eat supper. I thought the food was quite bad and ex. Nevertheless, our stomachs were filled. And when we got back to the room, we had impromptu charades. We first split into 2 groups, and we came up with questions for the other group. I always liked charades, as we can do stupid actions and all laughed at it. Like when i tried to imitate jolin's dance moves, and when elvin freaked out at almost every question.
After charades, we played cards in which we try to avoid to pick 'demon' card, cos the last person having that card will have to drink. Haha. It's really quite fun seeing people making funny noises when they had the card.
Yesterday was the last day. Nothing much happened, just that we had breakfast and bidded goodbye.
I think the most important thing about chalet or gatherings is the company we had for each other.
Waiting for photos to be posted. Surprisingly, I'm not the photographer this time.
Once in a while, you look at yourself, and you look at the people around you, then some kind of inferiority will overtake the inner self and self confidence once again take another plunge. You know you have been told there's nothing wrong with you, and there are people around who still love you. You wanted very much to believe in that, but somehow, there's a demon within that drags you away from that belief.
It might be the silence of the night that added to the loneliness, or the inner reflections on oneself that lead to these sad thoughts. You know that the world is not only about superficial beauty, but still you feel that many people are still blinded by the external cover. You have never been praised for being charismatic, nor were you under the limelight, with crowds mesmerized by your charm.
Superficial it is, but you still drown yourself in this shallow reality. You wanted to leave it aside, but still these stubborn thoughts will not leave.
Will you live your life in your own misery, and pretend you are not affected by such shallowness?
I am back from the annual Resonance Chlamp. Besides all the usual games, and caroling session, I felt that this time, it was somehow a bit different. Probably, the usual Oops gang is not around, as Derek and Cheryl are away in Japan for mission trip and Amanda is busy with something else.
The fun part is the Ultimate Game Challenge which EnD had come up with. It's a test of the group's ability in different aspects, including Visual/Spatial, Verbal/Linguistic, Inter/Intra-personal, Bodily/Kinesthetic and Mathematical/Logical. It really make me think in which aspects I am good in. This is also one of the times I was in the kitchen most of the time, helping Edlina to prepare food, something I don't do very often.
For me, the really discouraging part is when the bbq pit was not set up as we expected as the fire kept dying on us. So it was quite sad when the food that all of us prepared for the whole day couldn't be bbq.
I know people are reading this blog, but apparently there are people in the current committee who had difficulties with their jobs, and to some extent that they wanted to give up. At that point of time, when we were discussing all these last night, I was really really shocked. I know difficulties are unavoidable, but I don't know that some people are so affected by it. I seriously think the fire in Resonance is getting weaker, and needs to be re-lit. People are just getting drowned by the pressure and obligations.
All I have to say is that there are so many times we tend to wonder why we are doing the things we do. I admit I always have these thoughts too. But these are phases of life that made us grow up. We really need to believe in ourselves and somehow the things we do will lead to something.
It's already Sunday and my last paper ended on last Tuesday, and I haven't done anything productive since then. It's not that I have nothing to do for this holidays, but somehow, I just can't seem to get anything started.
Anyway, I finally had my dose of KTV session with the usual Reso-cum-KTV kakis at Suntec on Friday. It was another moment of solid belting out of songs by the resident divas. Great fun singing 'high' songs like Where is the love, Spice up your life, Bad boy, etc. The whole session was rounded up with a nice meal at Crystal Jade, sweetly sprinkled with desserts at Secret Recipe.
I will be away for a few days for Chlamp (aka chalet-cum-chalet), with Resonance at Aloha Loyang, in preparation for Christmas caroling.
These are the songs that I hope to master before the next KTV session, but they are rather difficult.
Finally, the dreadful exams made an exit. Somehow, I think that this exam dragged for too long, but I had a great fight. I really put effort in my studies this time, and if the results don't prove anything, I have to surrender to fate.
Anyway, while studying for exams, I have a few things in mind that I need to do after the exams, and guess what happen on the day after exams (which is today), what supposed to be packing of notes turned out to be watching Heroes Series 2, hitting random notes on the keyboard, played computer games, anything but packing or start writing my FYP report.
Maybe I have to write down, black and white, the things I need to do and paste it a place where I can see it easily.
The list goes something like that: 1) FYP report 2) Pack semester's notes 3) Visit the dentist 4) Buy Christmas present 5) Read
Maybe I will add more to the list when I think of more.
I am just glad the exams are over. To the rest who are still struggling, all the best!
Shannon, Siandy, me. Central Mall, Clarke Quay
