Do You Still Remember Me?
How contradicting it is. In my last post, I was talking how I should rely on myself and not depend so much on other people for my own happiness. But in this post, I am going talk about how we still need friends to keep us going on in this rat-raced yet monotonous life. I guess what is important is that there should be a correct balance between dependency on others and being independent and responsible for your own happiness. No man is an island, and some times, we still need friends and people whom we care and care for us to give us the slight push to reach higher peaks and carry on with life.
It is actually quite often that we get so upset and stressed in our own business, busy work or any money making activities of everyday life that we forget the other things that do make up our lives. No doubt money is important and if possible, we do want to live more than just comfortable. And I not suggesting we should just stop at any chances or opportunities to improve ourselves, to climb up the corporate ladder, or just to make more money. But once in a while, we should just pause to catch up with friends, or just to breathe fresher air.
We do get so upset with the heavy load of work or stress from bosses, or just the intolerable attitude from your fellow colleagues or project mates. It is this time that we need the people around to support us, and to soothe our emotions. It is also true that we still very much have to be dependent and take care of our own emotions, but at the same time, we need to couple our own power to heal ourselves with slight external help.
It is never easy to find these people, because either they are busy, or just because they are so uncontactable. Only recently, I was rather upset with some issues, and for a moment, I realised I have no one to turn to. I do not have siblings whom I can share, and normally I don't share these kinds of stuff with my parents. Let's call it generation gap. I really felt lost and so unmotivated. It is only this time that I need to calm my thoughts and motivate myself. It is not always that we have people around to support us, thus this is also when we need to cheer ourselves up. It is definitely ok to feel upset at this point of low moments, but what is more important is to brace ourselves up, to learn our lessons, and try to live a better life.
While we are always in need of people around to lend a helping hand or a listening ear, we do need to be there when our friends need any support too. Most of the times, we do not have to do any much or say anything to console them, we just to be physically and morally there. Just take what ever they throw to us. Relationships, be it friendship, kinship or love, it is always a two way traffic. It will never work out if such relationships are just one way.
We need to be patient when dealing with friends too. Sometimes, when we try to contact them, just to meet up or to convey any messages, they seem to disappear, or take a trillion and one years to reply. We must understand that we are not the only ones who form up their lives. But still, we cannot abuse such privileges and ignore sms-es of those people who are patient. (Hint hint) We also need to be patient and understand when friends don't seem to understand us when we feel down and neglected. Patience is definitely required by both parties in these situations.
Maybe I am feeling in a good mood that I can write such motivational stuff. Some would think that it is always much easier said (in this case, written) than done. But seriously speaking, if we never try, how do we know it won't work out at all? How would we know we would fall even before we start trying to walk? And it is through these falls that we learn how to climb and balance ourselves, so that we won't fall or fall as badly as before. Also, don't think that you will fall while trying to walk, because if you think you will fall badly, you definitely will. But don't try to run before you learn how to walk.
Come friends, if you have not met your friends for a long time, it is time to remember them. Find time to put away your everyday stress and business just to find yourself, and the people around you.
Have a good weekend.
Labels: emotions, life
Being Independant and Initiative
I think most, if not all, of my life, I have been depending on other people for my own happiness, so I will always be or react in such a way I will be very compliant to people's request, or rather, I be quite shui bian, so that people will be happy. But in doing that, I tend to forget my own truthful happiness, as in what really makes me happy. I have also been putting my own emotional support on other people, such that when that is missing or absent, I will just go into an emotional breakdown. I realised I can't just live on people's expectations on me, and I can't just be what people want me to be. I need to find a balance between people's reactions and judgment on me, and what I want myself to be. I need to think MORE of myself, than think what OTHER people would think of me.
After a few incidents in office, I have realised that, although through a rather hard way. I have no doubt learnt something from it. I really have to be strong when wrong perceptions or judgment have been made on me. When such things happen, I tend to be very upset, because I felt maligned. Luckily, others have assured me who I am, and that keeps me going on.
I also realised that I have always waited for other people to start talking to me before I start opening up. Maybe I should just make the first step and open myself (though not everything) up to people and know who the real Jeremy is, and Jeremy is not only the quiet person by the corner.
I like friends to be around, and to do that, I really to make some effort. And when things do not go right, as long as my integrity's intact and I do not harm other people, I think it should be fine. I also need to be more initiated in my work and knowing more people. It's ok to make innocent mistakes, but most important is to learn from it.
Maybe its easier said than done, but no harm trying and I never know if I'll succeed if I never try.
Emotions been on a roller coaster ride the past week, but I have grown from that. I need to take care of my own happiness and not easily be affected by situations around.
I will be strong, but I still need my friends' emotional support.
I'll be meeting my Oops gang tomorrow. How exciting!!
Labels: emotions, life
Work and Politics
Sometimes, it's not the loads of work that make one so upset and stressed. It's the politics that one has to go through that makes it all so tiring. The week that has past has really made me rather upset because of untrue remarks and judgment that were made on me. And because of this, it had made the whole situation so cold and uneasy. I am sure I am at no fault. And my other colleagues have confirmed that. I have also consulted friends on what I should do in such cases. It's only in times like this you know that who are really your friends and who are just passers-by.
I was so upset that on Wednesday evening, I went alone walking around at Orchard Road after work, something I have not done before. Usually, I would walk alone because I was waiting for someone, or I wanted to get something at Orchard. But this time, my paces were much much slower than usual, being overtaken by the majority tourists crowd. I did not have a plan. Walking aimlessly can be quite sad, but it let me cool my emotions down, and settle my thoughts properly. I haven't be so lost for quite a while. After walking for a while, I decided to take a rest and sat somewhere at Ngee Ann City facing the big square, and just gazed at people. In fact, I was just staring blankly. Then I picked up my legs again, and before I knew it, I was at borders, searching for interesting books to read. I looked at my watch for time, and decided it's time to head home after that.
It seemed to be a really useless evening, but to me, at least my thoughts were more settled after that, and I felt slightly better. At least, I know what to do next, and that is, to be myself. I have told one of my colleagues that as long as my integrity's intact and I have done nothing wrong, I should not care how others judge me.
Anyway, I met up with CN4A people again at Clarke Quay on Friday and after dinner at the Kopitiam at Central, we headed to a Chinese Pub, Lunar, along Clarke Quay. We were super early to catch the free entry and the happy hour promotion, one-for-one. The live singing started at around 9.30pm. Although the singing was only ok (I wasn't being blown away), it was still quite enjoyable. The mood got better after midnight where the place got crowded and more songs that you can dance too are being performed. After 2 jugs of beer, 4 jugs of vodka (orange and raspberry), and a bottle of red wine, we got slightly high and dance through the night, to the music of the live bad and singing. We started to head home at 3.00 am plus, and reached home at only about 4am.
The weekend was mostly at home, besides movie watching on Sat night, and tonight's Kim's brother's wedding dinner .
I just hope any misunderstandings will be resolved and work will just be manageable. Wish me luck.
PS: Somehow, I really need to brush up on my phrases and expressions. Sentences are choppy and some don't even make much sense. =S
Labels: CN4A, emotions, work
Misunderstood
It's a funny feeling to be misunderstood. For some, it can be quite angry, but for others, it can be laughed it off just like that. But I think most importantly, as long as one's integrity is not breached, I think its fine. I wish not elaborate further as it is a rather sensitive issue. I hope I can just laughed it off.
Anyway, I went for another run, Run for Hope, a 10km for the Singapore Cancer Foundation, along East Coast road. Ran really slowly as usual, but it's a nice workout early Sunday morning.
Sorry for the really choppy and short blog or the non logical sentences. I am quite tired now after a day's of work and tuition. But well, I tried to blog. =S
Labels: life
Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Children's Day
I really need to do a quick update as it's already quite late, and since I am transferring songs which takes quite some time, I might as well do some updates.
Last weekend was quite alright.
Friday: Met up with CN4A people. Dinner at Central foodcourt. A really cheap alternative to fine dining. Talked a lot of of nonsensical stuff and laughed a lot as well. Drinks at Brewerkz with beer and also takeaway margarita from Cafe Iguana.
Saturday: Tuition, and then some youtubing. Evening was at Robinson's sale at Singapore Expo. Bought a business/casual long sleeve shirt and bright red Hush Puppies polo t shirt. Good buy.
Sunday: Some gym and run in the morning. Xenus gang gathering at noon at City Hall. Amazingly empty at City Hall area at noon. Had lunch at Changing Appetites at Marina Square. Super empty as well at the restaurant and there were only 2 other groups of diners there when we were eating. Some arcade before we went to watch Painted Skin. Not a bad show, though slow and slightly draggy beginning. Went for dinner at Pu Tien. Manage to catch few glimpses of F1 race and experience the loud vrooms of the racing cars.
Today: Run in the morning, and went to grandaunt's place for some nice lunch. Home in the evening.
That's about it for the week that has past. Missed out a lot of details but that's about it. Really need to catch some sleep to prevent zombiefying myself for work tomorrow.
Labels: gatherings, life, Xenus gang
