Minutes before 2005...
the feeling's a little different this year. this blog will remind me that i spend the last few minutes of 2004 at home.
it's nothing bad. just a little lonely. parents sleeping. i'm alone, watching television programmes. i just wonder who i will hug and wish when the new year arrives.
maybe it's ok to spend the new year alone at home. i don't mind that too, really. just that i feel a little lonely. actually there are plans, which are put off in the end. it seems that it is meant for me to be alone for this eve of the new year.
maybe, i should feel fortunate being alive and still having family and friends around me. i feel sorry for those who aren't as fortunate. those who are brought down by the tsunami catastrophe.
anyway, i would like to thank all the people who have a special moment in my life for 2004, be it just a second or forever. i sincerely hope that you all will have a special and blessed new year.
i will post my new year resolution maybe later. can't think of any now.
i don't know what 2005 will be like, but i know that i spend the last few minutes of 2004, alone.
i should be happy.
happy new year.
The day the Earth Vents His Anger
It's boxing day, and besides that, it's just an ordinary day.
Not until, the earth erupted.
It shook.
Not only the shakes he has brought with him.
Big waves that swept beaches, forcing back the beach line.
Thousands of lives was brought along with the waves
like souvenirs that tourists brought home.
We sobbed, we wept, we shouted in desperation.
If only we have loved the earth a little more.
If only we have loved the people around us a little more.
i just can't bear to watch the news anymore. it's full of reports of the tsunami and the tragedies. every time i watch the news, there seems to be increase in the reports of deaths and lost counts. what's worse are the images of people being swept away by the gigantic waves. there are many times i have to hold back my tears and close my mouth which in wide open with horror.
i just wish the news can stop repeating the same images of horror.
i will donate tomorrow.
i hope you too.
it's quite ironic as i watched TV, there are look backs where the top 10 news for the year are reviewed. and now this big thing happened. there's like not enough space for the accomodation of this catastrophe.
as we stepped into the new year, i don't know whether to be happy because of the bright future ahead, or to be sad. what's the future for the families whose loved ones are not with them anymore.
what i want for the new year is a blessed year ahead and happiness for my family and friends.
just to take a second to say i care for all of you. i cherish the moment.
reply if you too:)
happy new year.
It's Boxing Day!
i wonder why boxing day is called 'boxing day'?
results will be out soon. anticipation can really kill. i don't really think i will get good grades this time. i know i always say that everytime but this time, it's really different. i have no confidence at all. but i really hope i didn't too that badly.
will be performing later at VCH for El Minstrel, together with the alumni. interestingly, i am not as excited for this concert. maybe it's the anticipation for the release of results that kills the excitment for the concert. maybe it's other factors. i don't know.
and so i spent my christmas eve at my aunt's place and christmas at hui's place. just the usual gathering. feeling's the same. watched shrek 2 at hui's house for the second time and card games as usual. dinner was pizza and KFC chickens and mini log cakes.
counting down for the release... wish me luck! i need a lot of that!
Titleless
can't think of any title.
life these few days have been cool.
too cool that i have been starting to think of nonsense.
it's difficult to live a life with no aims, no drive, no dreams. i have lost all zest to do things. seriously, i have no idea why. i can feel that i am not my usual chirpy self. something's bothering me.
yes, something's bothering me, but i have no courage to face it. i am such a tortise, such an idiot.
i felt i am becoming someone who is rejecting everything just because i am afraid to encounter something. i am such a pathetic coward.
nevertheless, i shall be happy, for it's christmas eve. i will try to take things thrown to me lightly and be a happier person.
for all those who believe in christmas in being more than a commercial holiday:
may your christmas be happy and all the days to come be blessed with peace and happiness.
*Merry Christmas*
Who gives a damn?!
sometimes i just wonder the things i do.
its like today, i went all the down to NUS for acapella and in the end, i sat down and listened to people sing because i have finished all my gigs and some of them havent. i mean, i don't mind listen to acapella music, but well you know the time could be well spent at home, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the house.
and i shouldn't spend all my money on SMSes when people just don't reply. i know there's the free 360 sms per month but its the effort lah.
well, i think from now on i just wait things to happen. and if they don't then too bad.
i just wonder the things i so. like cutting my hair in a fashionable way, which in the end got a negative remark from parents. like buying nice but expensive clothes, as if i was wearing for anyone else to admire.
hmmm. i think i just go back to getting cheap and reasonable nice stuff. who the heck cares about how i look or what i wear or if i even exist.
I can hear the christmas bells go ring a ling a ding
it's been weeks since i last woke upso early in the morning and had to set up phone alarm to wake me up. but it's all worth it cause is the engagement day of my ex army friend. ha! hansian finally becomes someone's man. hmmm. it's quite funny cause he still looks like a kid to me. but i believe he will be a good husband.
and so it was laughter and tears (bride's) that filled the room where the solemn engagement ceromony is held. interestingly, this is my very first time witnessing such a ceromony. i think all couples should witness this cause it makes you feel like getting married so soon.
ha! but not for me cause i haven't yet got a girlfriend. what to do? i'm such a loser.
lunch treat by hansian to all, who attended his engagement at ROM, at some nearby dim sum buffet. then it was CS gaming with chong han, jason, and edmund. although i was no CS expert but i agreed to play cause i felt that it's a rare moment that we got to meet up. anyway i had time before my carolling gig in NUS.
i think the carolling gig is one of the more meaningful event that happened in the year. it's to sing to the kids from MINDS. they were having a xmas celebration held in NUS and so we were involved by singing to them. it's a different feeling singing to them. although they aren't so perfect, it seems that they are truely enjoying themselves. and i can see the happiness in their eyes when they themselves are performing. it's a rare moment you can see from 'normal' people who are always so held up with stuff and jobs and stressed.
i wanna go bugis to buy stuff but before that i just wonder if there are any kind souls who can accompany me?
anyway, i have to go bank to AHS for alumni prac. hope i still can play!
opps... gonna be late!
i so love christmas! hope that you too!
Christmas makes you feel emotional...
it is final. this year's orchard christmas decorations' much better than last year. FINALLY, i can feel the christmas mood. i was complaining that other time that i can't feel any christmas mood.
so there i was at orchard yesterday. with shan and pris, later joined by sy. finally saw a few things i wanna buy but it's quite ex and out of my budget. hmmm. there's this bods shirt. quite nice, or at least i think so.
bumped into quite a lot of people yesterday. so there was changhui who accompanied through the journey in the mrt where he dropped at city hall. then saw aaron who just touched down in singapore two days ago. and wayne who also came back few weeks ago. and liting while i was dining at pastamania. then we went to listen to my friends' acapella carolling from resonance.
oh, i also bumped into Oli yesterday at the cineleisure. she doesn't look as BIG as she appeared to be on TV.
it's quite interesting how we avoided ms chew yesterday as we tried to avoid scolding for not going back to play for alumni band. Oh! the concert's tonight! hmm...
chang hui psychoed me to play for ahband. maybe i will go...
one of the must watched movies...
being a musical fan, how can i missed such a show especially when its showed in the movies.
blessed christmas to all...
My first carolling experience
it was rather bad i think. singing on a stage with a group of people, ok make it with four other people without any music accompaniment. firstly i can't hear myself, so i have to press one ear to hear what i am singing. and i don't dare to sing loud although i can't hear myself cause i am afraid i will over power the rest.
but anyway, it's over. the next carolling gig will be in school and we will have our own sound system, so it will be better.
there are nice people in singapore after all. while we were practising at the basement of borders of wheelock place outside the toilet, what a place, a lady suddenly stuffed a piece of paper into my hand. amazed by what had just happened, i unfolded the paper and it reads,
You guys sound GREAT! Blessed Christmas :)
we admitted that it must be the echo the place had that made us sound nice. and we can also hear each other. but we were definitely pleased when such people came by to say we were good.
it's a total different story on stage. i think i was totally not in sync with the rest when were singing oh holy night and let there be peace. and there was no crowd. the only people who were clapping were the volunteers for the event who were around.
it's an experience anyway, be it good or bad.
and oh yes. christmas is coming, and yeah! i am going orchard today to do shopping!
ciao!
the feeling's back and i don't want to hide anymore!
My Christmas Wish List
Well, i hope the kind santa will read this! I have been goody good this year, so please santa, grant me my wish list.
1) 5.1 megapixels Nikon Digicam
2) Adidas Jacket
3) Levis jeans
4) Guess shirt
5) Fossil watch
6) Nike shoes
hmm, realise all the things i've asked for are kinda branded.
ok, but i really really want the digicam.
any REAL santas around?
i guess it would have to be myself.
merry xmas! hohoho!
Just a wedding dinner?
well. on the surface, it may just seem like a simple wedding dinner. however, as all of my male cousins sat the same table with me and so we shared racist jokes. i didn't know that most of them can be so racist, even much more racist then me.
hmmm.... i learnt something new everyday.
and mind you, they are as young as secondary 1.
ok, they aren't THAT young after all.
today, i did something i hadn't done since i am damn young! popping confetti when the bride and groom arrives! ha! ok. at least all my cousins are doing that as well.
and i just wonder what's the alcohol content in red wine. i drank like 3/4 of a glass, and it seems like nothing had just happened.
hmmm...
oh yah. didn't know the usual quiet cousin vincent (the groom) is so... umm... different and drunk. suddenly when i am leaving, he asks me when will be my turn.
i don't what came into me, and i just said "soon..."
wait! i haven't got a girlfriend yet. so how can it be soon? i took back my words and said not so fast.
it must be the wine! but... it's only red wine.
whatever. i guess i can still write on this crap means i am not drunk after all..
drunk on red wine? the greatest joke of all i think!
Unmotivated...
before the exams ended, i wanted to do so many things. now, when the time is ripe, it seems that i lack the motivation to do anything.
why?
haiz.
have you ever encountered situations that you just don't know how to react? or questions asked that you just don't know how to answer? for me, i just smile shyly, and hope i would forget it.
but somethings are difficult to be forgotten.
i am amazed with myself yesterday. i was almost everywhere.
first, i was at school for carolling practices. then I rushed to orchard for my ex-wing dinner. it's really cool to see people you haven't seen for ages. interesting and good friends like yang fei, gen feng, lewis, and funny people like samuel. ha! anyway its definitely heart warming to have gatherings like this and its quite disappointing that some didn't turn up. well, some things you just can't force.
anyway speaking of being everywhere. after the dinner, i went to tamp mall to meet wen and gang for a quick shopping (window) and coffee drinking. it seems that chilling out at coffee clubs has been the fav past time for my friends.
then while on the way back in bedok, i saw ziyang, waiting to go to his friend's house. then coincidentally say sian ying. so it's like a small unintentional meet up again.
so apparently, i met up with four diffirent groups of friends yesterday. hmmm..
today's cousin vincent's BIG day! so congrats! ha! shark fin's for dinner tonight!
i hope there is something or
someone that could motivate me to do things. forget about the latter!
Life's like that
there's nothing i want to write, life has been monotonous, with frequent returns to the school cos of carolling practices. well, i don't mind the pracs cos i having quite a lot of fun and i've learnt a lot of stuff i haven't known, but i just dread the thought of travelling lightyears back to school.
anyway, met up with army friends last sat as calvin has returned from australia. no one has changed, just that calvin's hair is coloured and nicely styled. i'm just glad meeting up with guys whom i haven't met a thousand years ago. so there's sae, calvin, me, gan, nick, shu yau, kaywee, kang sen, and 2 new chaps. activities? football match watching at acid bar or something like that, and clubbing at chinablack.
sun was wen's delayed bdae celebration. so it's game at hui's house and dinner at seoul garden.
i am just bored of there's nothing interesting to write.
anyway, i'm the creative director for engin's vday project. any ideas of what self made gifts we could have? or what theme we should have? i'm not that creative after all.
ciaos...
I am tired
I am tired of wearing a smiley face trying to make everything seems cool and nice, but get unappreciated. I really don't know what's wrong.
I am really sick and tired. I felt useless.
Is it me? I tried to create conservation, but got back a reply why didn't I cut my hair real short where in the fact it is already short! I do not want to go back to the army days hairstyle.
I really don't know. I fet restricted, and it's like I have to answer for every single thing I do. Why do I colour my hair, where in fact it's so dark that no one can tell the difference? Why do you have to go overseas where in fact Singapore uni is good enough? Why do you have to work when your occupation is a student? Why don't you take up malay? Will you take up masters?
I know they want good for me, but sometimes i need space to breathe. It's really difficult for me to talk.
I really don't know. I have no siblings to consult, only this dead blog to accept what I have to say.
I am really tired. I am. I want to sleep.
I wish I could sleep forever.
Maybe because I am the only child.
Taufik: Crowned Singapore Idol? Not just yet.
It's never easy being idol. Well, I am saying this in a position of a by-stander and not form an idol position. Taufik may have won the competition but that equals Singapore Idol. Not just yet, I would say.
An idol needs more than just winning a competition, especially when it's more of a popularity contest, I guess. He must cut album that really sells, not just in Singapore, because of the much smaller market, but in the region or even across boundaries to the whole world. Then, have a platinum, or even double platinum album, get recognised in the streets not only in Singapore but also elsewhere. When you realise you need bodyguards everywher you go or you cant go out without the shades on, maybe you are on the correct path to stardom. Now? I would call it an amateur star, you know those kinds of stars that are not very shiny.
Popularity and recognition aside. Talent is the next important key factor. Yes, Singapore has talents and it has been proved in this competition. But compared to our neighbouring countries or even to the nations across the oceans, are our talents good enough to be recognised? Heads are scratched. I would say that Singaporeans are very very good singers, but not yet sensational or 'exceptional' although Ken Lim has used this to describe Taufik for one of his performances. But time will definitely show, and I sincerely hope that their talents will outshine many others.
Now back to their performances. Taufik went first and almost made his songs sound so R & B> I am glad he made it that way because he really controls well with the twist of the tunes and the high falsettos. Favourite?
Me and Mrs Jones! The other two songs, Stevie Wonder's
Superstition and an original composition for the event,
I dream, are also very entertaining, although I thought the latter sounds very emotional but very 'American Idol'. Should have a slightly local or different flavour. Taufik obviously is the better crooner and he is into R & B.
Sylvester aka Sly showed of his rockness with Bon Jovi's
It's my life, Jay's
An Jing, and the original composition
I dream. Well, although in terms of vocal quality and technique, Sly is on the losing end. He is almost shouting throughout the whole of his first sine and I thought he is almost a semitone flat. But I kinda like his style of singing. It's different, not irritating and I can recognise it's him without having to see who's the singer. I hope he can develop his style and improve on his diction.
Best part of the show, all 11 idols singing the medley with the
Rasa Sayang eh and amazingly
Stronger by Britney, and
That's what friends are for. I always love the group singing as I really think they are enjoying themselves. Then came Sly and Taufik duets,
The Reason and
All for Love. I hate it when everything has been dubbed in the studio to make it perfect. I prefer when everything's live.
Confettis thrown and pyrotechnics almost blowing the whole stage up, the idol has been crowned. Who I think should win this? Taufik, as he is more suitable to represent Singapore, at least better than Sly. Who would have a better record sales? Sly, as his bad boy cum his not-so-bad singing can woo many young girls.
Who I support and whose album I will buy? None.
How about you?
Will Taufik or Sly be the idol in the end? It's difficult to tell.
It's the best entertainment so far after today's last paper. Ha!
P/s: Best and most interesting captures on TV for the evening's show: When Ken Lim is commenting on Sly's performance, a green luminous lightstick flew towards him and almost hit him, 'like an accident'. How 'accidentally and coincidentally'. That's the greatest thing about live show.
