e Wheel of Life

Happy Halloween

Life itself is scary, don't you think so?

Anyway, for those out there having halloween parties, have fun dressing up and scaring your friends away.

I will be at home tonight, doing my work.

So interesting!

posted by Jeremy @ 5:49 PM

After the end

Thanks to all the concerns. After the suicidal, depressing previous post, I feel much better now. Sometimes, I just need a medium to release things that have been vent up in me for so long. I'm really ok. Just need a breather.

There are so many things I have to do and I want to do. Normally, the things I have to do and want to do can be very different.

Things I have to do:
1) Mini stats project.
2) S.H.E. project by the end of the sem.
3) Lab presentation also at the end of the sem.
4) Webcasts to catch up.

Things I want to do:
1) Laze under the sun by the pool.

2) Start up another blog or livejournal on my interests. I am looking more to an interest sharing website which share my interests for a cappella, music compositions, movies (which I have no time for), photography. Less about my life routine and a bit more informative.

3) Earn more money. I am thinking of starting up a business on environment conservation, like recycling and being a garang guni. I have to learn more about that during my IA.

4) Start composing music.

5) Learn more about photography. I happen to chance upon this cool livejournal community which showcases photos of Singapore scenes. Quite cool. And I like this photo. Very cute! Can you believe this is taken at botanic gardens?


This photo is taken this guy whose LJ is http://lomolurgee.livejournal.com. He has taken many beautiful pictures with nice lightings and nice colour combinations.

I think there a lot of things I want to do but never done. i should focus what I really want to do and achieve. But for now, I think it has to be studies and work. It's already the 11th week and exams are exactly in 4 weeks time. I have to buck up now!!!

Jeremy: focus and forget all your worries! I CAN DO IT!!!

posted by Jeremy @ 1:55 PM

The end

Have you ever felt that the whole world is against you?

I don't know. I'm just really, really tired. I have never felt so low before. It's like I have never succeeded in anything I do.

N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

I know I always complained about things like that. But I always believe that sometimes I could achieve something. I guess I am wrong.

I always try, but I think this time, I will just lose myself. I will just stop achieving.

I feel there's no point at all. NOT AT ALL.

I may seem as chirpy and cheerful.

I'm sorry to say it's just a false front.

I am just too tired.

I think I should stop this blog. It serves no point at all.

I think I will just give up on life.

posted by Jeremy @ 11:13 PM

Would you go for a match-making date?

I think my friends are desperate, and more desperate than I am. Nope, they are not going for any blind dates organised by SDU or what so ever match making companies. They are match making for ME?!?!

What the.....

Yesterday, met up with the usual primary school gang to have dinner. It ain't so good when you have friends who already working and you are like still trying to complete the week's assignment. (Read: They - RICH. Me - POOR.)

Anyway, it's really good o take time of the busy schedule to just relax for once and chat up with them, no matter how nonsensical the chat can get to.

Maybe a little too nonsensical that the chat came to me needing to get a girlfriend.

Yes, I'm still single and needing a girlfriend.

They had a plan for me. Kim also had a friend who's still single and apparently 'not-so-bad-looking'. So they wanted me to meet up with her.

They really were serious, talking about how they should invite her to our next gathering, or christmas party.

I'm like, eh?!

Anyway, they just wanted me to meet her, somehow.

I wonder they were really really serious or not.

Need to rush off now to visit my relatives' place for Hari Raya. (hint: good Malay food!)

But sometime I dread just being somewhere where I just couldn't be in place.

Selamat Hari Raya!!

posted by Jeremy @ 10:02 AM

Focus

Yet again, I spent my weekends at home. And it does not mean that I have got a lot of things done. It's like the time spent at home was either in front of the TV, or the laptop, or both at the same time, or on bed, or just stoning.

I think I lack focus. I can't just sit down for a long period of time and do the things I need to do. I just need to find a way to get my mind rooted to things I am doing and not divert into another not-important stuff.

I feel the pressure is on. But at the same time, I just don't want to strive.

Sometimes, I just wonder if this is the correct path for me. If not, then what really is?

I question too much.

posted by Jeremy @ 8:22 PM

Sometimes we just can't get everything we want.

Today, I've got the 1st allocation for my Industrial Attachment placing. Well, on the good side, at least I've got one of the 8 choices I have indicated. But on the not so bright side, I've got my very last choice. And it pays a pathetic 600 dollars.

Maybe I am over-ambitious, listing all the companies which pay at least 800 bucks a month for my top few choices. Come on, Jeremy, face it. Your CAP is pathetic. How do you compete with those having 2nd upper class CAP?

Well, I'd just have to live with it. It's not the end. I will just work hard with what I have, and hopefully do well in the interview and get the attachment job. At least, the company is located at Cecil Street and not like Jurong Island.

posted by Jeremy @ 1:03 PM

我给自己力量

当全世界变成灰，
当没人说你对，
我很想飞，
飞到没人的世界。

我就是我自己，
也许不容易，
但有很多时候，
我活在别人的眼里。

我得相信我可以，
我要相信我自己，
说得很容易，
事实并不只是也许。

想把悲伤化成欢喜，
愿把泪水变成恒心，
我等待有一天，
天灰也会有光明。

posted by Jeremy @ 5:37 PM

It is not the end

Just when I thought all the tests are over and that all is done, I was so wrong. Basically, before the semester ends, I could not just take a break. It seems that I have a thousand and one things to do.

Due soon:
1) Lab Report
2) Tutorials
3) Assignments
4) Science of Music Essay
5) Catch up with webcasts.

Coming up:
1) 1 more test
2) Lab presentation
3) More tutorials and Assignments

So when can I really let loose and enjoy myself?? Maybe after the semester end.

It's really getting quite hazy these few days. The haze is back. Last sat, it was so bad that PSI hot 150.

Went to Chinese Garden, with the primary school gang with their friends last friday. It's mid autumn festival that day. Nothing specticular. Finished 4 tests in the past 2 weeks. Disastrous.

Went for dinner to celebrate wailun's birthday last evening. Usual laughs and teases. Credits to derek who finished his plates of greens. It's really commendable for someone who normally who choose the greens at cai4 fan4 store.

Bumped into my cousin yesterday at Suntec with his girlfriend. Hmmm. Is this whole world already attached? But felt happy for him. At least he has found someone.

This blog has becoming rather boring with only updates and nothing interesting to look forward to. Hmmm. Maybe I should add more photos and interesting stuff.

Anyway, recently a large shopping mall has just opened. Vivo city was opened to public last weekend. But I heard from my friends that quite a few shops are still not opened yet. My assignments are preventing me from going out. Hmmm. maybe I should just heck care.

I've just applied to few companies for my Industrial Attachment for next semester. Being ambitious and adventurous, my top few choices are all which paid rather well and famous. Companies like Exxon Mobil and Total chemicals, which pay interns at least S$1000 a month. But with my current CAP score, i don't think i stand a good chance. i hope they will look at my a level results which are more promising. For now, i can pray, hope and wish for.

I guess I will be staying to finish my stuff this weekend. Poor me.

posted by Jeremy @ 11:07 AM

This blog is not dead.

I know I havent been blogging like god knows how long, but been really caught up with school stuff, and don't have the energy and mood to blog.

Although today's friday the 13th, it's been ok, at least till now. finally finished all my mid term tests. i'm really drained out.

i'm still in school now, waiting for people to have dinner later, celebrating charm's and wailun's birthday.

Updates next blog maybe. Running out of topics to blog... or at least can't think of any now. i'm rather bushed.

posted by Jeremy @ 5:36 PM