Friendship
The supposedly gathering of friends (and those who didn't turn up) make me think about friendship slightly deeper.
All I wanted to say that it aint easy that we can maintain friendships for so long, and it ain't easy to get people to meet up, especially when one has just returned from another country and don't when that person is going back again. Yes, I admit I was busy too during the week, and it didn't help when this week wasn't the best week ever.
And there is some hidden quarrel or misunderstanding going on between two. No one knows what really happen, but one is too afraid that the other party will be agitated, and thus the absence (I really don't know if the reasons of absense are for real).
I was about to give up getting people to meet up today. But all thanks to one, who is ever so chirpy and positive, who helped me get people to get together. Although he had wedding dinner to attend too, he still made the effort to get us together (though in the end there are three of us), meet us, send us back even after his dinner. Props to him.
Yes, we do feel upset with each other or with life. But its the friendship that helps us get going. The situation above DO sound complicated, but does friendship entail such complexity?
Again, it ain't easy maintaining this fateful relationship. I don't really wish to give it up, though the tireness and fatigue of work do make me neglect it for a while, but I really do try to make it up.
I don't know when will be the next meet up, and don't know who will be there.
I miss those time when we really had so much laughter together.
Probably, and hopefully, today is just one rare occasion.
Labels: friends
Ups and Downs
Life certainly has its own ups and downs. The week that has just past was a terrible one. I really felt that my work life has hit a low, probably because of the project and the ever demanding client I am dealing with. It has really made me feel if I was suitable for this kind of job at all.
But the work has also made me think what kind of person I am. Am i someone who will back up and quit when difficulties arise? Am I not able to take hardship, stay back late and just cry when more work comes?
While feeling stressed and upset with the actual work, I was thinking my attitudes at the same time. Is it because I don't really like the work I am doing and that makes me feel the what I feel? Or it's just my attitude that I have to change and things won't work out well if my negative attitude towards work do not rectify.
But what I do know is that I must do something, and quick, either to change my attitude, or to find something I think I am suitable in. I need to find that kind of energy that made me feel better when I faced the same kind of depression during my university days. At those times, somehow I wasn't really doing well in my studies, and my grades were going down the drain like no one's business. I was depressed, running away from my friends after the examinations, because I knew I just couldn't myself with them. But somehow, I tweaked my attitude, or thinking, and although my grades did not top the cohort, but I certainly did well enough (in my own terms) and things just got better.
I was talking to Siandy on Friday night, (we met up for dinner), and I guessed she was right in certain ways. Work isn't everything and my results in work were not to judge what kind of person I was.
I guessed I just need to try my best, and yet do not expect the best outcome in the things I do. And if the outcome is good, that will be a bonus. I also think I should not be so afraid of working hard and late (though I feel I have worked quite hard already), but it certainly needs time to get used to that thinking.
I still fear what's to come on Monday, but I guess I have to face it anyhow.
Thanks to the peeps who have talked to me during these few days. Appreciated.
The rest will be up to me.
Labels: life, work
