Space
Space, as insignificant as it sounds, is something we cannot do without. In our everyday busy lives, we tend to cramp so many things. Work, study, family, friends, loved ones, hobbies, loans, investments. Sometimes, it becomes like a shoe rack that is so packed with different kinds of shoes that the rack seems to topple anytime soon.
Have you ever had that feeling?
We tend to neglect the existence of space, and more importantly, the signifcance of space. It allows us to breathe, to take a step back, to move on. We tend to neglect space just because we cannot see it, but that is a convenient excuse not to place an importance on space.
In music, space exists as rest. Its existence serves an important role in preparing the musician for the next phrase of music. It enhances the anxiety and it alsoi allows freedom for the listener to digest what they have just heard.
In visual art and photography, the presence of space in a picture highlights the main subject. The space around allows the viewers to focus on what the artist or the photographer want them to look at, without which, will just be a mass of clutter.
In a busy city like Singapore, don't we find ourselves squeezing among the hordes of people in the MRT trains? I am sure being stuck in a mulfunctioned lift or in a jam along PIE isn't a good feeling at all. In such situations, don't we wish we have some space to move on, or basically just to breathe?
We can observe that in everyday life, we need appropriate physical space around us to be comfortable, to feel still. We need space so that we don't sniff another person's armpit or scalp, we need space so that we can run or swim without hitting another person. As essential we need space physically, the existence of space in human relationships should not be neglected as well.
For people who are in relationships, some will tend to cling on to the people they love and care on. It is understood that they are want to be around with their beaus as much as possible, to be as involved as the other parties' lives as possible. During the early period of the relationships, there will be frequent phone calls, affectionate address and teasings, meet ups everyday. But as time past, phone calls become less frequent, meet ups become less constant. Is that a bad thing?
Not necessary.
I guess that is the creation of space within the relationshiip. And it is definitely important to have just the right amount of space. Some will think that this space will affect the relationship, because one becomes less involved in the other person's life. But what is more important that this is the space that keeps the relationship going on. We all need our own privacy, even from the very closed ones around. This space allows us to be ourselves, to think without being affected by the surrounding. This space allows the relationship to grow, and this space creates the opportunity for one to miss and to long for the other person.
Too much space is no good, but the absence of which is definitely detrimental.
Space within oneself allows us to put aside mundane stuff that bothers us. As much as we want to fill our lives with many 'shoes', walking different lives, to be as productive and to achieve as much as possible, we need space to cool ourselves, to be zen. The worrying part, we forget to dedicate space within us. The result? Anxiety, failure to keep a cool mind and being too stressed.
I admit I am one of the victims.
But as I grow up, I think just giving myself space is not a waste of time. It is not being unproductive. It is actually allowing some time to be myself, to think what I want to do. It is like in being in a relationshp with myself, and the consequences are similiar.
The important part is how much space is enough, too much or too little. That I am still trying to figure out.
But for sure, if you feel uptight, feel stressed, feel down, and hardly able to breathe, give yourself and the people around you some space. Clear the mind and think it through properly. If you have given space and it still doesn't seem to help, just find a friend to talk. A good friend will pull you out of your current sardine-packed mind, and bring you to an empty-spaced state of mind.
Labels: life
Happy 2011!!
Happy indeed. That's the most important and ultimate aim I hope to achieve in 2011 and hopefully in all the years ahead.
At the beginning of 2010, I didn't make any resolutions, because at that time, I thought that what was the point to make resolutions only not to fulfil them. In addition, resolutions shouldn't me made only during the beginning of the year. It should be a constant activity.
This year will be slightly different. Instead of resolutions stating exactly what I want to do, it would be the attitude that I will have. I hope to have the persistance, the patience in everything I do. I hope to be able to overcome no matter what obstacles there are, to transform any ordeals into opportunities, and also to take reasonable risks so as to discover and fully extend my capacilities. I also wish that I am more discipline to do the things I should do, as well as having financial discipline.
And as always, I wish everyone health and happiness in the new year and treasure every moment of life!
Labels: life, new year
A Race Like No Other... Indeed
Are you crazy?Why do you have to pay money to suffer?I keep getting these when I told my friends or the people around me that I have signed up for the full marathon. Yes the full 42.125 km marathon.
I do ask myself these questions as well. Why do I need to do this to myself, to wake up so early in the morning just to go to a run which I will suffer? Why do I need to endure 6 hours, or more, suffering where I could have cuddled myself in the comfort of my own bed, and it's on a weekend morning?
Well at least for the past 2 marathons, I had company, so the whole journey won't be that bad. But this time, I was doing it alone. I didn't really think so much when I signed up for the marathon. Maybe I was influenced by the much discounted rate, as I have participated last year, and well, it's a hype. Since everyone is doing it, so why not me? Moreover, by signing up for the run, I would have better reasons or rather lesser excuses to exercise.
In the end, I didn't really run enough to prepare my body for the marathon. Not enough is just an understatement.
Nevertheless, I managed to wake up early in the morning, and delivered my unwilling body and mind to Orchard Road, the starting point of the 42km marathon.
I was thinking, it ain't bad after all. There were actually quite a lot of people and much energy at the starting point. The nicely decorated Orchard Road with Christmas ornaments did some help too.
And so, the horn sounded, and everyone started the long long run.
For the 1st 15 km or so, it was ok for me. Though slow, I could find my momentum to sustain the rate I was going. I thought, at that time, it ain't that bad after all if I could sustain this for quite the whole race. I was wrong.
Somehow, the sun got out and my legs seemed uncorperative with the mind. They got heavier, the breath too got heavier, and the body started to break down after about 22km. Then at 25km, it seemed too much for the legs and they started to cramp. The thighs, the toes, the calves. Everywhere. That time, I knew it. The lack of conditioning and preparation had shown.
The next 10km or so was a torture. East Coast Park was never ending. The road behind Fort Road was worse. No scenary, no breeze, no NOTHING!! My aim, then, was not to finish the run fast. My aim is just the next kilometer.
At 35km mark, I thought to myself. YES! 7 km more! I could finish the run after all. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts.
I was thinking, signing up for this marathon is not crazy. The main thing about marathon is not just finishing it at the fastest possible time, or to challenge yourself, or to suffer. It's more than that.
The main thing, is the participation.
Along the way, I saw couples, holding hands, though tired, both are encouraging each other to finish the run. I see friends, who just participated together, not to see who finished earlier, but just to do something together and to bond.
I saw individuals, who just wanted to challenge themselves, to do things they had never thought of doing and trying hard. I saw people who helped other people they have never met before in their life, and probably won't meet in the future.
It's more than just a competition.
For me, I realised that marathon is just like life. It can be long, gruelling and lonely (42km is not a short distance, trust me). There are a lot of hurdles and problems that will arise (the hot sun, the frequent occuring cramps). But still we cannot give up. We have to finish the run somehow. When I had cramps, I just slowed down and walked, instead of ignoring and continued which could be bad. In life, we have 'cramps' too, and when we bumped into any problems, I guessed we just have to slow down, endure the pain, do some 'stretching', try to overcome problems and we move on.
I have always wanted to get the best results in everything I do. Though that was not a bad thing, I realised success is not always the case. I had a timing in mind while starting the marathon, but in the end I had to change my target timing along the way because of the different conditions. In life, we also need to make adjustments to the target, as long as not too much compromise have been made. We can't possibly be too inflexible and stick too close to what we want. That will be really too hard on ourselves.
I also realised that other people's target may not be the one for myself. Although I was a bit too ambitious to sign up the full marathon, and also that category wasn't really meant for me, or other people. That's why shorter distances were opened as well. But that doesn't mean those who participated in the shorter distance are any less superior. In life, it's just not one size fits all. Others may be a businnesman, a doctor, a lawyer or a billionaire, but that doesn't mean I am meant to be one of those. I just need to know what I want to be.
I wondered why so many thoughts went through my mind, even though I was dog tired.
I was glad I managed to finish the race eventually. The finisher T shirt, the medal, the timing (I admitted I was slow) weren't so important after all. It's the craziness, it's the experience, it's the satisfaction in completing the run, no matter how far, that made the run more memorable.
Congratulations to all, who had finished your own race! :)
Labels: life, marathon
Finally
Finally. I manage to sit down, turn on my own computer, find settle the random thoughts and try to write something.
There are a lot of reasons, or rather excuses, of the missing updates, and I don't really wish to list them down. But they all boil down to me being easily distracted, lack of discipline, and just to lazy to pen these thoughts and happenings down.
And yes, there are many things that happended, not major though, within these 2 months of absence from the blog.
I have been to a couple of countries, one for work (Beijing) and the other is for a short long weekeng getaway (Penang). I guessed the photos in Facebook better described the sights, scenes and of course food I have experienced for these 2 trips. So in total, I have been to 4 overseas trips so far.
Have been to couple of concerts as well (Coco Lee and Retrolicious), and I guessed that made up the numerours concerts / performance I have been to within this year.
I have gone through some serious thoughts as well, but sadly, no conclusion to thoughts that don't really haunt, but these thoughts do pester me. I really hope I know the direction I am going in life, and one thing I really need to remind myself is, not to be afraid of making the wrong choices or falling down.
I guess thoughts aren't settling down after all, and this post seems like a convinience to sum up what has happened recently and there is no logic nor links from one paragraph to another.
Hopefully the next post makes more sense.
A Note to All My Angry Friends
This is what I have written on FB recently:
I admit. I am not the best person who can write beautifully, or someone who can directly translates what is in the mind to the words that are written. My words may be misunderstood, or may not exactly and necessarily reflect what I really mean. Yet, I wish to write this, a note to all the people around me, who are not happy, who just feel that everything is just not enough.
As much as I could, I try to be a listening ear to my friends, so that they can 'fa lao sao', venting out the stuff that they are bothering them, hoping that after doing that, they would be happier persons. Apparently, to my observations, many of my friends become less happy or worse, become angrier people. They are just not happy with the people around them, the stuff around, or basically just their lives.
I really wonder, are they really THAT unhappy? Where are the laughters we used to share? Where is that smile they used to hang on unconditionally? I am afraid that I'm also one of the victims, putting on a grim face once in a while, but I dare say, as much as possible, even though the posts on my social website profiles may look discouraging and these are actually written on impulse which usually do not last long, I try to be happy. I mean I do feel that, in my life, though not perfect, there are things and people I really do appreciate. But I really can't say that for my friends, because they really are perpectually unhappy most of the time.
I tried, to lend a listening ear, to ask them if they are ok, to ask them to think of the brighter side, to tell them that things may not seem as bad as it seems to be. But often then not, the responses I get are even grimmer faces, "rawr", "whatever", "maybe you are just green", "you won't understand", "ok". Hello?!? I am trying to help here. Would I bother if you are not my friend? I am not even asking for a 'thank you'.
Seriously, I don't mind lending a listening ear, to talk when any of you feel down, because I just hope by talking, one would feel better, one would feel that there is at least one friend around, and life will go on without dragging the unhappiness along your path.
One of my recent down posts has initiated messages to ask how I am. I really do appreciate these messages, but as I say in one of my replies, there are ups and downs in lives, and some people just need some time and space. And for me, with this time and space, I am sure I can get along with life, being a happier person.
One of them encouraged me to talk it out when I am bothered. Well, I did. But just when I started to talk about my state of emotions...
Me: "sian"
Friend: "tell me about sian man..." blah blah blah about his/her own unsatisfactions.
Me: "it's ok ... don't feel like going out"
Another Friend: "i tried to ask you out, but if you want to be down then go ahead..."
Those are just few examples. Sometimes I really do wish I have a listening ear.
I know my friends are trying to help me, but still... oh well. Let's put that aside.
Anyway, I am not trying to imply anything here. What I just want to say that, I really do want my friends around me to be happy. And there are a lot of reasons to be satisfied and happy amongst the many unhappniess stuff. At least, you have a family, you have your girlfriend, boyfriend, you have your nice friends, your have a shelter over your head, you have your health, you have a job, you have a country that is not going through war... Some of us might be missing one or two of the above things, but I am sure there are many other things to be happy about. And my friends' unhappiness do affect me, and the effects do sustain, as compared to stress from work (work is just work after all).
All I just hope is for you (my friends) to be chirpy and happy.
And if you are not, I will still be there if you need a listening ear.
I hope there's one for me and someone to tell me what I have written above when I am not happy.
Good night.
Labels: friends, life
Back
It was a rather good break from the hectic life in Singapore. Also had a good chance to get away from my life to do some thinking without much interference. So what's the next step? I would say that life will just go on, I hope my perspectives, attitudes and take on different issues will be different. I think I am too hard on myself most of the times, and I would just want to give in to the people around me. Well, things will just be the same, but I have to remind myself to love myself more, but still put in my best in the things I do or pursue.
And since I am back from the short trip, I need to have new aims and directions. I guess one of the more urgent ones is to lose all that weight I gained from past few weeks. This is evident especially when I went to the tailor in bangkok.
Bangkok is rather safe, despite the unrest that happened a few months ago. Although in some of the places, especially in Siam Square, there was an evident decrease in the number of people, but overall it is still ok. Went to some places I have not been to previously, such as the tailor, and the FBT factory outlet. Bought many clothes because they were really cheap. Initially I didn't plan to, but it turned out to be a mostly shopping trip. Luckily I could still stuff all the things I bought into my hand carry baggage (I didn't check in my baggage 'cos I wanna save money). A reminder: To have check in baggage the next time I visit Bangkok.
I initially thought that I could think things through during this trip, but I guess I didn't achieve as much as I want. As for now, I guess I would just settle out my thoughts as often as possible, or whenever I have the opportunities to.
Labels: Bangkok Trip, life
如果我有超能力
如果我有超能力， 我想找回以前的欢乐，以前一直把微笑戴在脸上的我。不知为何，这几年来，微笑似乎从我脸上消失了。我深信，我本性是喜欢欢乐的人，而不是一个悲伤的人。也许有太多的事情我不知该如何面对，该如何解决。
如果我有超能力，我想把以前的那股初生之犊不怕虎，那股不管什么苦难都向前冲的力量早回来。可能现在的我是想太多了，事情并还没发生时就怕失败，怕受到挫折。我希望能用这份超能力，把不好的思想删除掉，直往目标前进。
如果我有超能力，我想用这份能量，找到我喜欢的人，而那个人也需要喜欢我，了解我，爱护我。我知道如果我真的喜欢一个人，我能全心全力的爱护她，呵护她。但那个她，也应值得我呵护，值得我的关心。嘴里只说爱你，永远陪着你，是不够的，那个她需要了解我。我也会利用这超能力保护着她。
如果我有超能力，我想把自己的自信在加强些。近年来，我认为我比一前更有自信，但那份自信真的得来不易。有过不少的抨击，也遭到这残酷社会的蹂躏。也许就这样，我的微笑也渐渐消失了。我希望这份力量能再让我的自信胜过一切，不再被任何事物给影响，不再让我的自尊受到任何打击。
Labels: life
