Space
Space, as insignificant as it sounds, is something we cannot do without. In our everyday busy lives, we tend to cramp so many things. Work, study, family, friends, loved ones, hobbies, loans, investments. Sometimes, it becomes like a shoe rack that is so packed with different kinds of shoes that the rack seems to topple anytime soon.
Have you ever had that feeling?
We tend to neglect the existence of space, and more importantly, the signifcance of space. It allows us to breathe, to take a step back, to move on. We tend to neglect space just because we cannot see it, but that is a convenient excuse not to place an importance on space.
In music, space exists as rest. Its existence serves an important role in preparing the musician for the next phrase of music. It enhances the anxiety and it alsoi allows freedom for the listener to digest what they have just heard.
In visual art and photography, the presence of space in a picture highlights the main subject. The space around allows the viewers to focus on what the artist or the photographer want them to look at, without which, will just be a mass of clutter.
In a busy city like Singapore, don't we find ourselves squeezing among the hordes of people in the MRT trains? I am sure being stuck in a mulfunctioned lift or in a jam along PIE isn't a good feeling at all. In such situations, don't we wish we have some space to move on, or basically just to breathe?
We can observe that in everyday life, we need appropriate physical space around us to be comfortable, to feel still. We need space so that we don't sniff another person's armpit or scalp, we need space so that we can run or swim without hitting another person. As essential we need space physically, the existence of space in human relationships should not be neglected as well.
For people who are in relationships, some will tend to cling on to the people they love and care on. It is understood that they are want to be around with their beaus as much as possible, to be as involved as the other parties' lives as possible. During the early period of the relationships, there will be frequent phone calls, affectionate address and teasings, meet ups everyday. But as time past, phone calls become less frequent, meet ups become less constant. Is that a bad thing?
Not necessary.
I guess that is the creation of space within the relationshiip. And it is definitely important to have just the right amount of space. Some will think that this space will affect the relationship, because one becomes less involved in the other person's life. But what is more important that this is the space that keeps the relationship going on. We all need our own privacy, even from the very closed ones around. This space allows us to be ourselves, to think without being affected by the surrounding. This space allows the relationship to grow, and this space creates the opportunity for one to miss and to long for the other person.
Too much space is no good, but the absence of which is definitely detrimental.
Space within oneself allows us to put aside mundane stuff that bothers us. As much as we want to fill our lives with many 'shoes', walking different lives, to be as productive and to achieve as much as possible, we need space to cool ourselves, to be zen. The worrying part, we forget to dedicate space within us. The result? Anxiety, failure to keep a cool mind and being too stressed.
I admit I am one of the victims.
But as I grow up, I think just giving myself space is not a waste of time. It is not being unproductive. It is actually allowing some time to be myself, to think what I want to do. It is like in being in a relationshp with myself, and the consequences are similiar.
The important part is how much space is enough, too much or too little. That I am still trying to figure out.
But for sure, if you feel uptight, feel stressed, feel down, and hardly able to breathe, give yourself and the people around you some space. Clear the mind and think it through properly. If you have given space and it still doesn't seem to help, just find a friend to talk. A good friend will pull you out of your current sardine-packed mind, and bring you to an empty-spaced state of mind.
Labels: life
Happy 2011!!
Happy indeed. That's the most important and ultimate aim I hope to achieve in 2011 and hopefully in all the years ahead.
At the beginning of 2010, I didn't make any resolutions, because at that time, I thought that what was the point to make resolutions only not to fulfil them. In addition, resolutions shouldn't me made only during the beginning of the year. It should be a constant activity.
This year will be slightly different. Instead of resolutions stating exactly what I want to do, it would be the attitude that I will have. I hope to have the persistance, the patience in everything I do. I hope to be able to overcome no matter what obstacles there are, to transform any ordeals into opportunities, and also to take reasonable risks so as to discover and fully extend my capacilities. I also wish that I am more discipline to do the things I should do, as well as having financial discipline.
And as always, I wish everyone health and happiness in the new year and treasure every moment of life!
Labels: life, new year
A Race Like No Other... Indeed
Are you crazy?Why do you have to pay money to suffer?I keep getting these when I told my friends or the people around me that I have signed up for the full marathon. Yes the full 42.125 km marathon.
I do ask myself these questions as well. Why do I need to do this to myself, to wake up so early in the morning just to go to a run which I will suffer? Why do I need to endure 6 hours, or more, suffering where I could have cuddled myself in the comfort of my own bed, and it's on a weekend morning?
Well at least for the past 2 marathons, I had company, so the whole journey won't be that bad. But this time, I was doing it alone. I didn't really think so much when I signed up for the marathon. Maybe I was influenced by the much discounted rate, as I have participated last year, and well, it's a hype. Since everyone is doing it, so why not me? Moreover, by signing up for the run, I would have better reasons or rather lesser excuses to exercise.
In the end, I didn't really run enough to prepare my body for the marathon. Not enough is just an understatement.
Nevertheless, I managed to wake up early in the morning, and delivered my unwilling body and mind to Orchard Road, the starting point of the 42km marathon.
I was thinking, it ain't bad after all. There were actually quite a lot of people and much energy at the starting point. The nicely decorated Orchard Road with Christmas ornaments did some help too.
And so, the horn sounded, and everyone started the long long run.
For the 1st 15 km or so, it was ok for me. Though slow, I could find my momentum to sustain the rate I was going. I thought, at that time, it ain't that bad after all if I could sustain this for quite the whole race. I was wrong.
Somehow, the sun got out and my legs seemed uncorperative with the mind. They got heavier, the breath too got heavier, and the body started to break down after about 22km. Then at 25km, it seemed too much for the legs and they started to cramp. The thighs, the toes, the calves. Everywhere. That time, I knew it. The lack of conditioning and preparation had shown.
The next 10km or so was a torture. East Coast Park was never ending. The road behind Fort Road was worse. No scenary, no breeze, no NOTHING!! My aim, then, was not to finish the run fast. My aim is just the next kilometer.
At 35km mark, I thought to myself. YES! 7 km more! I could finish the run after all. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts.
I was thinking, signing up for this marathon is not crazy. The main thing about marathon is not just finishing it at the fastest possible time, or to challenge yourself, or to suffer. It's more than that.
The main thing, is the participation.
Along the way, I saw couples, holding hands, though tired, both are encouraging each other to finish the run. I see friends, who just participated together, not to see who finished earlier, but just to do something together and to bond.
I saw individuals, who just wanted to challenge themselves, to do things they had never thought of doing and trying hard. I saw people who helped other people they have never met before in their life, and probably won't meet in the future.
It's more than just a competition.
For me, I realised that marathon is just like life. It can be long, gruelling and lonely (42km is not a short distance, trust me). There are a lot of hurdles and problems that will arise (the hot sun, the frequent occuring cramps). But still we cannot give up. We have to finish the run somehow. When I had cramps, I just slowed down and walked, instead of ignoring and continued which could be bad. In life, we have 'cramps' too, and when we bumped into any problems, I guessed we just have to slow down, endure the pain, do some 'stretching', try to overcome problems and we move on.
I have always wanted to get the best results in everything I do. Though that was not a bad thing, I realised success is not always the case. I had a timing in mind while starting the marathon, but in the end I had to change my target timing along the way because of the different conditions. In life, we also need to make adjustments to the target, as long as not too much compromise have been made. We can't possibly be too inflexible and stick too close to what we want. That will be really too hard on ourselves.
I also realised that other people's target may not be the one for myself. Although I was a bit too ambitious to sign up the full marathon, and also that category wasn't really meant for me, or other people. That's why shorter distances were opened as well. But that doesn't mean those who participated in the shorter distance are any less superior. In life, it's just not one size fits all. Others may be a businnesman, a doctor, a lawyer or a billionaire, but that doesn't mean I am meant to be one of those. I just need to know what I want to be.
I wondered why so many thoughts went through my mind, even though I was dog tired.
I was glad I managed to finish the race eventually. The finisher T shirt, the medal, the timing (I admitted I was slow) weren't so important after all. It's the craziness, it's the experience, it's the satisfaction in completing the run, no matter how far, that made the run more memorable.
Congratulations to all, who had finished your own race! :)
Labels: life, marathon
A Note to All My Angry Friends
This is what I have written on FB recently:
I admit. I am not the best person who can write beautifully, or someone who can directly translates what is in the mind to the words that are written. My words may be misunderstood, or may not exactly and necessarily reflect what I really mean. Yet, I wish to write this, a note to all the people around me, who are not happy, who just feel that everything is just not enough.
As much as I could, I try to be a listening ear to my friends, so that they can 'fa lao sao', venting out the stuff that they are bothering them, hoping that after doing that, they would be happier persons. Apparently, to my observations, many of my friends become less happy or worse, become angrier people. They are just not happy with the people around them, the stuff around, or basically just their lives.
I really wonder, are they really THAT unhappy? Where are the laughters we used to share? Where is that smile they used to hang on unconditionally? I am afraid that I'm also one of the victims, putting on a grim face once in a while, but I dare say, as much as possible, even though the posts on my social website profiles may look discouraging and these are actually written on impulse which usually do not last long, I try to be happy. I mean I do feel that, in my life, though not perfect, there are things and people I really do appreciate. But I really can't say that for my friends, because they really are perpectually unhappy most of the time.
I tried, to lend a listening ear, to ask them if they are ok, to ask them to think of the brighter side, to tell them that things may not seem as bad as it seems to be. But often then not, the responses I get are even grimmer faces, "rawr", "whatever", "maybe you are just green", "you won't understand", "ok". Hello?!? I am trying to help here. Would I bother if you are not my friend? I am not even asking for a 'thank you'.
Seriously, I don't mind lending a listening ear, to talk when any of you feel down, because I just hope by talking, one would feel better, one would feel that there is at least one friend around, and life will go on without dragging the unhappiness along your path.
One of my recent down posts has initiated messages to ask how I am. I really do appreciate these messages, but as I say in one of my replies, there are ups and downs in lives, and some people just need some time and space. And for me, with this time and space, I am sure I can get along with life, being a happier person.
One of them encouraged me to talk it out when I am bothered. Well, I did. But just when I started to talk about my state of emotions...
Me: "sian"
Friend: "tell me about sian man..." blah blah blah about his/her own unsatisfactions.
Me: "it's ok ... don't feel like going out"
Another Friend: "i tried to ask you out, but if you want to be down then go ahead..."
Those are just few examples. Sometimes I really do wish I have a listening ear.
I know my friends are trying to help me, but still... oh well. Let's put that aside.
Anyway, I am not trying to imply anything here. What I just want to say that, I really do want my friends around me to be happy. And there are a lot of reasons to be satisfied and happy amongst the many unhappniess stuff. At least, you have a family, you have your girlfriend, boyfriend, you have your nice friends, your have a shelter over your head, you have your health, you have a job, you have a country that is not going through war... Some of us might be missing one or two of the above things, but I am sure there are many other things to be happy about. And my friends' unhappiness do affect me, and the effects do sustain, as compared to stress from work (work is just work after all).
All I just hope is for you (my friends) to be chirpy and happy.
And if you are not, I will still be there if you need a listening ear.
I hope there's one for me and someone to tell me what I have written above when I am not happy.
Good night.
Labels: friends, life
Back
It was a rather good break from the hectic life in Singapore. Also had a good chance to get away from my life to do some thinking without much interference. So what's the next step? I would say that life will just go on, I hope my perspectives, attitudes and take on different issues will be different. I think I am too hard on myself most of the times, and I would just want to give in to the people around me. Well, things will just be the same, but I have to remind myself to love myself more, but still put in my best in the things I do or pursue.
And since I am back from the short trip, I need to have new aims and directions. I guess one of the more urgent ones is to lose all that weight I gained from past few weeks. This is evident especially when I went to the tailor in bangkok.
Bangkok is rather safe, despite the unrest that happened a few months ago. Although in some of the places, especially in Siam Square, there was an evident decrease in the number of people, but overall it is still ok. Went to some places I have not been to previously, such as the tailor, and the FBT factory outlet. Bought many clothes because they were really cheap. Initially I didn't plan to, but it turned out to be a mostly shopping trip. Luckily I could still stuff all the things I bought into my hand carry baggage (I didn't check in my baggage 'cos I wanna save money). A reminder: To have check in baggage the next time I visit Bangkok.
I initially thought that I could think things through during this trip, but I guess I didn't achieve as much as I want. As for now, I guess I would just settle out my thoughts as often as possible, or whenever I have the opportunities to.
Labels: Bangkok Trip, life
如果我有超能力
如果我有超能力， 我想找回以前的欢乐，以前一直把微笑戴在脸上的我。不知为何，这几年来，微笑似乎从我脸上消失了。我深信，我本性是喜欢欢乐的人，而不是一个悲伤的人。也许有太多的事情我不知该如何面对，该如何解决。
如果我有超能力，我想把以前的那股初生之犊不怕虎，那股不管什么苦难都向前冲的力量早回来。可能现在的我是想太多了，事情并还没发生时就怕失败，怕受到挫折。我希望能用这份超能力，把不好的思想删除掉，直往目标前进。
如果我有超能力，我想用这份能量，找到我喜欢的人，而那个人也需要喜欢我，了解我，爱护我。我知道如果我真的喜欢一个人，我能全心全力的爱护她，呵护她。但那个她，也应值得我呵护，值得我的关心。嘴里只说爱你，永远陪着你，是不够的，那个她需要了解我。我也会利用这超能力保护着她。
如果我有超能力，我想把自己的自信在加强些。近年来，我认为我比一前更有自信，但那份自信真的得来不易。有过不少的抨击，也遭到这残酷社会的蹂躏。也许就这样，我的微笑也渐渐消失了。我希望这份力量能再让我的自信胜过一切，不再被任何事物给影响，不再让我的自尊受到任何打击。
Labels: life
Walking alone
Is it normal? Is it normal at this part of life, I feel so lost. Nothing seems to fall in place. The path I am walking now seems to have no end. It is stable but it leads to nowhere.
And yes, I do feel lonely. There are so many things that I do not know how to handle, or how to decide, and I do need a listening ear. But who? Who can I just find right this moment now?
Have you encountered? People will tell you that you can always find them when you need help. But when you really need them, where are they? I know they mean well, but still, it sounds like a joke, isn't it?
I'm in quite a fed up mood recently, and being sick doesn't really help. Be stuck at home with the nagging mother who complains everything from the sky to the earth, aloud. That really doesn't help at all
I really don't know what's wrong with me. Some said I need a girlfriend, but seriously, am I in a position to have one? When I can't even take care of myself?
I am not a good writer, and I don't really know how to express everything in my mind into words, but it's the best place I could say what I want to say, no matter anyone cares or not.
I keep asking myself, what is my direction? Where I am heading to? To go or not to go? Where to? Who? How? Why?
There are just too many question marks in this post, and in my mind.
I am lost, because I started this path, alone.
Don't tell me that you will be there no matter what happens, because seriously, no one will.
Labels: life
Thinking
I have been through a lot of thinking lately, and it's not that I haven't been thinking all the time, but just slightly more recently. And somehow, these thoughts have got me further deep in seeking the true meaning in life, in work, in relationships, in friendships, and what-nots.
Some thinking is good, but if it has gotten too much and without action, it will succumb to depression and self indulgence in self pity. And I am afraid that this has somewhat happened to me slightly.
When my friends or colleagues are in despair and they think that they should this or they should do that, I will often tell them not to think so much, and just go with the flow. But why can't I tell myself that?
Don't worry, I haven't got into depression, just yet, but I just need to stop thinking once in a while and just feel the happiness around.
Have been quite stressed up at work, as usual, probably because of the deadlines coming up, and I just do not know how to handle the work, and probably also because I am not confident in the things I am doing. So many times I ask myself, is this really suitable for me, and is this what I am going to do the rest for my life. Hell no! Then why don't I find another job? Reason is simple, purely because I don't know if I can do well in another unfamiliar field?
Been thinking about friendships as well. Just recently, I have realised that a close friend of mine, whom I haven't met for quite some, hasn't been so close anymore when we met up recently. There's awkward silence in conversations, and the lame humour we shared before, doesn't exist anymore. I admit that this friend isn't one who will just start a conversation anytime, but the sudden coldness has really left me thinking if the long time no see factor has caused the unfamiliarity bewteen us.
Oh well, as I said, probably I should just stopped thinking so deep, and just go with the flow. Nothing has gone wrong, and I believe we are still good friends.
Have been busy with A Cappella as well as NUS Resonance is putting up a performance on 26th June. I seriously missed all the singing when I started working, and only realised how much I missed when I started singing again couple of weeks back. Thanks for inviting me back and I am really happy to be singing with you guys again.
Singing aside, been meeting up with different group of friends as well, as it's definitely a good thing to be able to catch up with others. I realised the things we discussed are different too, previously from the stress in studying and school, to now, buying of flats, relationships, career and all the young adults' stuff. This has definitely shown a sign that we are entering or have entered into another stage of life.
'Nuff said. I am just looking forward to the next happy thing, probably the concert itself, and probably another short trip. In life, we just need to look forward to things we like to do or things that make us happy. Life is short anyway.
Yes indeed. Life is short, and I really have to remind myself that.
Labels: life
And it's back to work
These 3 weeks, which I had previously feared, had swifted past before I even noticed it. It was really a packed 3 full weeks of revisions, exercies, planning, and the actual evaluation. I had indeed learned a lot, about how to interact with people, about myself and my attitudes, and the things I never knew I can do.
It's already quite late in the night now, and I can't really relate what happened in these 3 weeks of in camp training. I just hope I could bring some of things I have learnt forward and applied them in my work and my life.
The only slight regret is that I should have pushed myself further and attain more than what I could have possibly achieved.
Labels: army, life
A Post
I know I have been really lazy and outdating posts on my blog. Well, there are no excuses for that. Anyway I just want to write something before I am off for three weeks in camp.
This blogging thing is really important because it is an avenue where I can express my thoughts or any aggression without really affecting anyone directly. A few events that happened previously have also reminded me the imporatance of constant writing, and if I don't, I will lose touch of expressing myself fluently in words and that doesn't really spell good for my job, where it involves me writing reports, emails or constructing proper sentences to positively convey messages which might not be so positive.
Ok, I will try to write.
I have also realised that this blog has become an update of my life, which seriously isn't any much interesting, rather than an avenue of expressing my thoughts, which I wanted it to be. It has become like a 'do-because-I-need-to-do', rather than 'do-beacuse-I-want-to-do-it' activity. I will try to improve that attitude.
Frankly speaking, the thought of going in camp really dampens the mood significantly. I just didn't enjoy the thought of being in camp and doing the things I don't really enjoy. Some would say that I am not the only one experiencing having to go to camp, and others would say that since I have to do it, just put it in a positive sense. I really did try to feel less negative (rather than more positive, note the difference), but somehow deep inside, it still bothers me.
I really have to remind myself that I am not the only one going through this, and it might not be THAT bad after all. I need all the luck for these three weeks, luck that will ensure everything will go well.
It ain't really that bad, as I have do have friends around me who have encouraged and helped drive away that negative mood. I guess it's just up to me in the end.
Just watched Enchanted on Channel 5. One message that got to me: some things ain't have to be so complicated (like love), and most of the time, it's just the human beings that make it so complicated and that's when problems arise. Simplicity in reality is the most difficult thing to achieve. Well that's my take on that movie. Love the singing-dancing-happy ending, and I believe that's not everyone's cup of tea in a movie.
Guessed I really write a lot in this post. It might not be coherent, but who says that it should be? It's just an avenue (pardon for my lack of vocabulary) to express how I feel and think and this very moment.
So till then. I hope it won't be that long.
Labels: life
Eventful Week
Oh well, it's going to be a short one so that I don't forget what happened during the week leading up to my birthday.
Sunday, met up with Veron and Jeanne to have lunch at Ding Tai Fung at Paragon and, Ben and Jerry's at Orchard Central.
Tuesday, Jamie Cullum concert at Esplanade Concert Hall with Siandy, and bumped into Gary and beau.
Friday, dinner at Grand Asia Restaurant at Odeon Towers with primary school friends, desserts later at Liang Seah Street.
Saturday, at RWS, Vivocity and Raffles City.
Sunday, lunch at Ikea and dinner at TampOne, with desserts at Mac.
Photos at facebook will detail everything, after I have finished uploading all my Japan trip photos.
Labels: birthday, life
So This Is It
SO this is it. After all the highs and the lows for the past few weeks, I have grown older by a year. Not much thoughts in mind, but just that I hope, everything that I do will go smoothly and everyone around me will be healthy and happy.
Though it's a simple wish, it's not as always as simple to achieve.
What we need is to find that simplicity in every complexity.
Labels: life
LIfe Goes On
These few days ain't easy for my family and relatives, especially yesterday, when this is the first time I see tears, tears of the people around me whom I usually see with smiles and laughter.
I understand we have to go through this stage of life, and it can be as hurtful. But I also learn that after the tears, life will have to go on, stronger as ever.
This time, I also get to know my cousins better, and although they are younger than me, it felt that I have many things to learn from them too, especially about being positive and all.
'Nuff said. Been lacking of sleep for the past few days. Hopefully the sleep pattern will recover as per normal, and everything will be back to normal, although somewhere in our heart, we know it won't.
As of now, I will just look forward of the things I am going to do and wanting to do.
Labels: life
I Need A Breather
With so many things happening (not in a good way) in my life, especially at home, and the dreadful load from the work, I really need to look forward towards something, so that there is some light in my life.
1. Movies
Although there are not many blockbusters this season, there are a few light hearted movies that hopefully can lightened me up a bit. Thanks to the CNY and V'day coinciding this year, there are few movies to catch.
Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief 72 Tenants Of ProsperityValentine's DayLittle Big SoldierHot Summer DaysI doubt I will be watching all of them. I am lucky if I catch one or two of them.
2. iPhone
I have been wanting to get this phone (though it's over hyped), since a long time. Now I am just waiting for my contract to be up in April, call Singtel, demand vouchers (the last time I called, they only offer 50 bucks and the person on the other line sounds hostile).
3. Japan Trip
Yes I am going to Japan. Maybe I should read up more on Japan, look at more beautiful pictures, so that the anticipation to go to Japan will be more prominent. As of now, I am still quite chill about this trip.
4. Gatherings
Yes, there are some gatherings here and there. I must always remind myself that it is a fortunate thing to be have friends to meet up with, even if it's the same few, and reminisce the old times.
I hope these few things will keep me going, and be positive in such times. And I also hope my family will be well in these times.
Which reminds me that I need to go to temple soon.
Labels: family, feelings, friends, life
Random Thoughts
I really wonder if the existence of this blog really matters anymore. There are lesser and lesser things to write about, and if I do really blog, it's really just the mundane and uninteresting work stuff or my very own complaints, in which their very absence won't make much a difference.
Probably that spells about my very own life, boring and uninteresting. Besides the occasional gatherings initiated by friends, it's just work, home and tuition.
And it's also probably I'm too tired to do anything else after the day's work. I have given up a few of the things I like to do because I just can't find that energy I used to have. It might be the age, it might be something else. That, I really don't know.
So will this blog go down to having the same fate as my other interests, gradually disappearing?
We'll see.
The melancholy before Monday.
Labels: life
Ups and Downs
Life certainly has its own ups and downs. The week that has just past was a terrible one. I really felt that my work life has hit a low, probably because of the project and the ever demanding client I am dealing with. It has really made me feel if I was suitable for this kind of job at all.
But the work has also made me think what kind of person I am. Am i someone who will back up and quit when difficulties arise? Am I not able to take hardship, stay back late and just cry when more work comes?
While feeling stressed and upset with the actual work, I was thinking my attitudes at the same time. Is it because I don't really like the work I am doing and that makes me feel the what I feel? Or it's just my attitude that I have to change and things won't work out well if my negative attitude towards work do not rectify.
But what I do know is that I must do something, and quick, either to change my attitude, or to find something I think I am suitable in. I need to find that kind of energy that made me feel better when I faced the same kind of depression during my university days. At those times, somehow I wasn't really doing well in my studies, and my grades were going down the drain like no one's business. I was depressed, running away from my friends after the examinations, because I knew I just couldn't myself with them. But somehow, I tweaked my attitude, or thinking, and although my grades did not top the cohort, but I certainly did well enough (in my own terms) and things just got better.
I was talking to Siandy on Friday night, (we met up for dinner), and I guessed she was right in certain ways. Work isn't everything and my results in work were not to judge what kind of person I was.
I guessed I just need to try my best, and yet do not expect the best outcome in the things I do. And if the outcome is good, that will be a bonus. I also think I should not be so afraid of working hard and late (though I feel I have worked quite hard already), but it certainly needs time to get used to that thinking.
I still fear what's to come on Monday, but I guess I have to face it anyhow.
Thanks to the peeps who have talked to me during these few days. Appreciated.
The rest will be up to me.
Labels: life, work
Crazy Hectic Week
I haven't had the time to post about KL since I came back on Saturday night. Well in short, it's a lot of shopping and cheap food. Photos will be up soon in FB I hope.
It's been a crazy week at work, especially on Thursday where I have a crazy meeting from 9am to 6.30pm. Beat that man. And have to work till about 9pm. And on Friday, despite the crazy tummyache in the morning, I have to go to work and work till 7pm though I am supposed to end work at 12.30pm. And still, I have to bring some work back to finish. And I am not talking about a mega project I am working on. Oh well. That's life I supposed.
Today's Halloween. I was supposed to have find some costumes to go to any clubs to have some fun. But plans changed. I guess it will just be a normal Saturday night for me.
Working so hard and not feeling well at the same time (on Friday) made me think a bit. I realised that I really have to take care of myself and no one would show any concern at all. I smsed my boss that I'll be slightly late for work due to frequent visit to the toilet, but still I have to clear as much work.
I am really such a wimp who always needs so much attention and concern and I think I really need to realise that only me who show concern for myself and I am only one who will take care of myself.
'Nuff said. I need to clear some errands.
Labels: life, work
Compromise
I don't know why, but I feel especially thoughtful, often with a tinge of blues, when I am at home for the whole day, and especially on a Saturday night.
I just watched a movie called Fever Pitch on TV. It's a romance film with the cast led by Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. The movie is about how Drew's character, a strong career woman, in the process of finding love, happened to meet Jimmy's character, a high school teacher. Being a career-minded woman, she was always busy and on her phone, strong willed, ambitious, and always had the will to win, and that's why she hadn't found the guy who could match up to her. So it's actually how interesting she fell in love with a lower income teacher. But the catch is, besides being the one earning lesser, the guy had a great addiction to being a die hard baseball fan. Everything in his life was about Red Sox, the baseball team he's crazy about. Well you can go watch the movie if you want more details.
What I wanted to point out is how 2 very different people come together to put aside the differences, to accomodate with each other's passion, to lovee and live with each other. It ain't easy and there were many times where they almost blew their relationship off. But the girl was able to learn to appreaciate the sport and accompany the guy to the matches even she was really busy. And the guy eventually decided to sell off the best seat in the stadium to prove his love.
A relationship requires a lot of tolerance and compromise between the 2 parties, often which the reluctance to give in by any side will result in quarrels or even worse. That made me think, if I could really give in or sacrifice the things I like if I fall in love, or even anyone out there in the world who is willing to sacrifice the things she love for me. I really can't imagine myself doing that, or think that anyone will do that for me.
Maybe that's why I am single.
In addition, I have a lot of criteria and standards. Maybe too many.
I really don't know if I will end up in a relatioship eventually. And I don't really want to think much about it.
But it can be quite lonely sometimes.
I am flying off on Monday, but I haven't planned much, still.
Maybe not planning is a good thing after all.
Labels: life
What Do You Want to Do?
I want to become a
Good engineer, good worker, high flyer, rich person, entrepeneur, a cappella singer, superstar, party animal, tuition teacher, youtube-made-famous singer, marathon runner, fitness buff, good looker, obedient son, endearing lover, composer, arranger, good friend, traveller, photographer, design artist, TV junkie, movie reviewer, song reviewer, slacker, famous blogger.
Do you feel that some times, you want to assume many roles, but in the end you do nothing at all? You will say you do not have time for all these things, but when you do have the time, it was spent on something else totally irrelevant that is a total waste of time?
The weekend is almost over and it appears I haven't achieved much.
Well at least time is well spent with the JC band peeps.
But at the other time, I began to think what I have done?
I need to settle my thoughts and start focusing on the things I NEED to do, and not just WANT to do.
Monday is coming real soon again.
Labels: life
Back
Haven't been updating my blog. Partly cos I am lazy, and partly because I seldom at home, and I don't really like to blog at other places, eg office.
I just came back from reservist's last week, which lasted a dreadful 2.5 weeks. It's a crazy unit, not because it's a guards unit, but also the welfare, or the lack of it, that was given. The morale of some of my army mates were hence rather low. And since this time, our branch wasn't assessed for ATEC 1, we were actually quite free, other than occasional last minute building of sand models, issuing of maps, acting as enemies, and own initiated running and gym sessions. I shan't elaborate further on why morale was low, just in case someone 'big' spotted my blog and charge me for God know what reasons. I am just glad I am out of it as of this year, and made friends with some of them.
Friday was Reso's mini concert, Resonance: The Inside Edition. It was really great to be back and engrossed myself in A cappella music again, and it was then that I realised how much I missed singing and being with the Reso peeps. The concert was pretty decent, with a few moments of memorable acts. My favourite would have be Love Addict by the Aca Champs group, and personally I thought they did better than during the competition. I guess this song requires that kind of relaxed feeling and mood in which they achieved during the concert. The other song that caught my ear was Simon and Garfunkel Medley. It was a nice arrangement previously performed by Naturally 7, and I thought the guys blended quite well, and the group were able to bring out the intended feeling somehow. Good job. Overall, I must say it was quite an enjoyable concert and get together! I miss Reso!
Few weeks back, I met up with my usual primary school gang, and there was an invited guest, another primary school mate whom all of us haven't seen for quite some time. There were quite a few awkward silent moments, as he was very quiet himself and I guessed since it was the first time we met since a long time, it was quite hard to break the ice. Moreover, I wasn't very close to him during the primary school days. Anyway, after dinner at MOF at Marina Square, we headed down to Harry's Bar at Esplande for a few drinks. This was the first time my primary school gang went for a drink together. It was a nice experience at the bar and I wouldn't mind going back there again.
Caught a few movies recently too. There was Up, which had a great story and nice colorful moving pictures. I also caught Final Destination IV (in 3D). I didn't really choose to watch that but oh well, I caught that movie eventually. I think the 3D effect made the gross scenes less surreal and therefore, I wasn't that grossed out after the movie. I caught G force last week, and it was quite a nice, funny show, but it was also that kind of movie that once you stepped out of the theater, you don't really talked or remember much of the movie.
Been running too. Just took part in Army Half Marathon before my reservist's , and the Mizuno Wave Run. In my opinion, the Mizuno Run was really bad, with bad planning and all. First there was very few water points, and every time I reached the water point, there was already no water. The route was quite bad too, with many narrow paths and occasions where we had to run just beside fast moving traffic! What was really bad was they got old uncles and aunties to be marshallers. I know it's good to involve senior citizens in young activities, but asking them to stand under the hot sun and along the roads just isn't the way man. Was quite pissed off after the run.
Yup, all the updates I can remember since the last post. I think my blog is getting a bit boring with only updates of my life and nothing much else. Maybe I should do something about it...if I am not lazy.
Till then.
Labels: life
